


A Weird Reality

by MissLove



Series: A Weird Reality [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:30:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLove/pseuds/MissLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxas has had to live with his curse ever since he met his best friend Axel when he was little. His father stopped loving him long before that. Now he's older, and very introverted, his father beats him, his love is a man, and to top it all off he's a freak. Just when something goes right, everything goes all wrong. He never thought his life would be like this, never. Lemon!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Day Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> I have this up on my Fanfiction . net account (Axel-Got-It-Memorized), but this is the 4th gen, edited version. I have had a lot of lovelies help me with this. please give me your feed back for how I can improve anything. 
> 
> This is a bumpy ride, so either hold on tight and enjoy the ride, or get off. I wont be offended if this fic isn't your cup of tea.

My eyes fly open and I stare up at the dark ceiling, panting and tingling all over where my dream companion had been touching and caressing. The tingles start fading, and it leaves me feeling empty. I wish I could go back to my dream, and curl up in the arms of my dream lover. With a sigh I reach up to feel my fuzzy, warm cat ears to tug at them softly. It's a habit of mine, one that calms me down.  
"D-Damn…." Mumbling softly before turning to bury my face into my soft pillow and curling up into a ball around the fluffy sack. I wish the dream hadn’t ended where it had, I can feel my crotch throbbing. My tail curls around my waist, blushing darkly as I stare into the dark room. The universe is so cruel, not even letting me finish in my dreams. This must be more punishment for being an abomination. Of course it is, why else would I have feelings for my best friend? Why else would I have to be a freak? I feel my body going a weird mix of too hot, and too cold, and I know I’m going to cry. I just want to be normal, to be able to have a sex dream about someone I like, to be able to tell them I like them, to feel them close to me. 

"Axel…" The whimper fills my small room, and I was about to try to force myself back to sleep. I was almost there, almost back into the black escape from my shitty, unfair reality, but it was ruined by the familiar set of heavy-set footsteps of my father lumbering down the hallway. My blood runs cold, and I pray to every god, goddess and higher power that he leaves me alone tonight. I try to pretend to sleep, curl up more to my pillow, and closing my eyes. My ears twitch, straining to hear his movements. 

My door creaks open, and my whole being shatters with bitter cold, revealing a very drunk and angry Cloud Strife. I try not to react, slow my breathing, and pretend I'm asleep in the hopes that father would just leave me alone tonight. I can't help but shake in my fear. Cloud clamors in to the now half lit room, grumbling angrily. "Get up you lazy shit. You've got school today. Your mother left for work already."  
Cloud pulls my black and white checkered blanket off of me, and growls. "What's got you so worked up? You better quit your shaking boy, or I'll give you something to be afraid of. Did I catch you being bad? Speak up boy!" Cloud slurs drunkenly. His breath makes my sensitive nose twitch with disgust.

I barely ear the whimper escape my lips, and I try harder to play dead. Maybe he will just go away, maybe he’ll be too tired to deal with me. Cloud pulls on my ear roughly, causing me to softly yelp in pain and sit uptight; my eyes snap open, staring into angry copies of my own sapphire eyes.

"F-Father?" I hear the fear in my own voice, there are tears welling in my eyes. He looks so angry at me, but I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. My sensitive ears burn from my father's grip; which he tugs harder, I must have angered him more by being scared. I try to swallow the noise that wants to escape my throat and try to pull away. Cloud frowns at me, staring, looking at me in disgust. I want to get away from his gaze, I can’t stand when he looks at me like that. I didn’t ask to be a freak. I don’t like how it feels like he’s looking into my soul, so I close my eyes.

"Why do you look like me?" He grumbles, his tone sends shivers down my spine. "I never asked for you, you freak. My family would be normal if not for you, if you hadn't inherited the damn curse." He spits out, tugging harder on my ear. I can’t make a noise, I can’t, or he’ll be angrier.

My chest is ice cold but my cheeks are too hot as tears fall down my cheeks. I know he hates me. It wasn't always like this, but when the curse took over, Father became cold. Now I'm constantly being reminded that I'm freak of nature, something to be hated by the one person who is supposed to stand by me, and protect me. A wave of emotion grips my heart and threatens to rip it from my chest, and I don't know if it can ever get better, or go back to the way it used to be.

I know calling Cloud 'Daddy' would earn me one of two reactions, my ass would be grass, or Cloud would leave me alone. The way my ear is burning and how I’m already in the shit house for crying like a coward, I decide to take my chances. It feels like he's ripping my poor appendage off. Taking a shuddering breath, and opening my eyes slowly, I look into his eyes, pitifully.

"D-Daddy…" I whisper, "L-Let go….It hurts…"My voice gets a little stronger as I talk. Cloud's eye darken, and my heart stops and becomes ice cold once again. He growls and when he rears his hand back, I know I lost. I barely even feel it when he hits my jaw. I fall back onto my bed, and curl up tight. It was a 50/50 chance of getting out unscathed, so I guess he's angrier then I thought. I’ll just lay here, and think about something else, think about my dream with Axel, as he punches and kicks and hits and yells. It'll hurt later, but right now axel is holding me. Right now I block out all other thoughts, or feeling as my father beats me. 

It takes me a minute to realize Cloud had wondered away, grumbling something that drifted right over my ears. I slowly sit up, my breath hitching and tears instantly welling in my eyes. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe and I can’t move. It hurts so badly. So bad. But I can deal with this. I can handle this. I just have to breathe slowly. In, slow…slow; out, slow…slow…slow. Repeat. There, now I can get up. I just have to get up and shower. Up, slowly, ignore the soreness, ignore the stabbing pain in my chest. Get up and limp down the hall to the bathroom. My ears lie flat on my head, my tail wrapped around my frail and beaten torso. I barely notice my brother, Sora, watching me curiously. My twin walks up to me, his face is fuzzy and out of focus. I can’t see well, I just need to shower, to breathe slowly and get to school before I anger Father again.

"Roxas, what happened?" I hear the worry in his voice. I don’t want to answer him.  
My eyes don't look into his, but they do find the floor very interesting. I can feel my cheeks heating up and more tears welling in my eyes. I didn't have to look up to know Sora's curious expression turn angry. My stomach twists into a knot, and my throat feels and tastes like acid. This isn’t good. I can’t breathe again, but the pressure in my stomach and throat is getting worse. I dash for the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet, gripping the porcelain tightly as I dry-heave until I taste last night's dinner. Tears finally fall freely down my cheeks. Everything hurts, and the stabbing pain in my chest gets worse, knocking more air out of my lungs, and preventing more air from replenishing them. 

I hear Sora behind me, the shuffling of his feet as he walks over to sit next to me. He pets my ears and oh god does that help bring air back into my aching chest. I regain my slow breathing pattern, and try to relax. 

"Roxas...are you ok?" He speaks softly, pausing his speech for a second, “I’m so sorry, I should have done something…” His voice is soft and full of guilt. I hate that Sora knows, I don’t want to cause him trouble because I’m a freak. He’s always so kind to me, Sora is always there for me, acting like an older brother. I was born before he was, I should be able to deal with this myself, but I still rely on him. I’m so pathetic.

Sora pulls me close and I yelp loudly. Oh god, it hurt so bad, made my head spin and nearly miss what he said. "Roxas, you have to tell mom." His voice is soothing and calm, but firm and authoritative. Leave it to Sora to be so caring. I mewl and whine at him with all the breath I can spare. It sounds so pathetic and weak.

"Mom can't know Sora! It….it would crush her! I'll be fine...really. Maybe dad will work late tonight. It's Friday. He usually works late on Friday." I gasp out, I need to stop talking, something in my chest stabs with each gasp for a word. I try to look into Sora's eyes with a small, hopeful smile. Sora just gives me a sad look, his eyes searching. I can tell he’s debating whether or not to tell mom anyway.  
I lean onto his shoulder, feeling dizzy and weak. “Mom can’t know Sora, It will break her heart. Promise me you won’t tell her. I’ll be fine.” I try my hardest to say out loud, without a wavering voice, trying to be convincing. Before he could protest, Cloud yells up at us from the kitchen.

"Sora, Roxas, get down here and eat before it gets cold!" He is still angry, and I’ve lost my chance for a shower. At least I can eat quickly and leave for school. I just have to remember to breathe, and I’ll get through the day. The pain will fade, like it always does, by around lunch time.

Sora and I sit down at the table; Sora nods to dad. I keep my head down, staring my plate. Sora starts rambling about his plans for the day. I sat quietly as Sora prattles on, filling the space with sound. It is uncomfortable, sitting next to my father as I pick at my food. I still have to struggle to breathe, but at least I don’t have to talk. I can't quite sit still, or get my stomach to want the food that was in my face. The smell is nauseating and it took every ounce of me to shove the tiniest of bites into my mouth. My father must have noticed this because he barks at me to eat, and not waste his food. So I did, I shovel down the bacon and eggs on my plate and get up a little too fast. There’s a sharp stab in my chest, but I bite my tongue to keep from flinching. 

"Thank you for the food Father….I'm going to walk today…." I say quietly, not looking up at my father. It hurts. Breathe, slowly, don’t let them see how much it hurts. Sora stands up to say something, but I move too quickly. I have to pretend I’m breathing normally, pretend it doesn’t hurt. Just make it out of the house. I’ll be okay. I take my plate to the sink, wash it, and book it to the hall closet before Cloud or Sora could protest. I put on my black and silver air-walks, and my black and white checkered sweater. Then I swing my black 'the used' messenger bag over my shoulder, with a loud whimper and stab of pain, and run out of the house. I don't realize that it's raining until it was too late to go back for an umbrella, and I hate rain. While I walk in the downpour, I rummage through my backpack for my Linkin' Park beanie to hide my ears, I slip it on and thank some higher power that I have it. Rain always make my ears cold. The next thing I search for is the MP3 player Axe bought me for my birthday last year, but can't find it. Halfway to school is when I realize that it's sitting on my desk, with all of my math and science homework for today. I curse loudly, and let the pain out in my voice before continuing trudging to school. Today already sucks.

I limp onto campus; staggering. Oh god I can’t breathe. Oh god, I can’t… I can’t make the pain go away. Every time I move my upper body, I feel like someone is stabbing me in the chest. I didn't even notice my best friend, Axel Flynn, walk up to greet me until his face was right next to mine. His piercing green eyes were looking over my face, with a deep frown.  
"Roxy, what the hell happened to your cheek?" He reaches to touch it.

Before I could control myself, I flinch and whimper at all the sudden sharp pain. I can’t let him know. I just have to make it to class. Remember to breathe, in, out. Ignore the pain. You can handle it. Don’t get Axel caught up in your problems. "Nothing, It's no big deal…."  
My breath is so shallow, but I’m try to catch my breath without letting Axel know I can't. Suddenly, Axel lifts my chin. My face tilted up so he inspect it with his brilliant green eyes. Those eyes remind me of summer fields and meadows, filled with butterflies and fun things to chase. For a moment, I forget all the pain, and just dive into my fantasy of green. I feel my cheek heating up, and I force myself to look down. I don’t want him to know, I don’t want him to worry. I can handle this. I’ll be able to breathe soon, the pain will go away.

"Roxas, what's wrong…..what happened?" He sounds really worried, but his voice carries a hint of anger. Axel can't find out. I need to lie, and lie well. I can handle this myself. I just have to tell him a lie. That's basically impossible to do to Axe, though. Axel always knows when I lie. I just need to breathe, and It will be convincing. The longer I stand here, not answering him, the angrier he is going to get. I don’t want to bother my best friend. I don’t want to anger him. Axel is terrifying when he is really angry. I just have to breathe, and speak up, but I find myself being too scared to speak. Axel looked the same as Cloud this morning when I call him 'daddy'. "Roxas! Just tell me what happened! Is it so bad you don't even trust me with this?" He roars, his voice shaking me to my core, his piercing gaze making the pain in my chest even more unbearable. I-I just have to b-breathe. I ha-have to say something. J-Just breathe and say something. Breathe, slow…….as deeply as I can….. Breathe.

"Yes…" The sound is weak, and pathetic. I can't lie to him, but I can't tell him either. I wish he would leave this alone, let me sit down and breathe, but I know Axe. I know he won’t just let it go. I love and hate that about him. He shouldn't have to know that my father hurts me. I don’t want him to get involved. It's not like Cloud has ever hurt me sexually. Just a few broken ribs, and a couple dark bruises. Nothing that wouldn't heal in time, and nothing that I didn't deserve.

Apparently, my answer isn't what Axel had wanted from me. The look in his eyes flash a murderous glare and he grabbed my arm, pulling me through the large crowds of curious students. I try to pull away, whimpering and mewling in pain pathetically. Don’t tug so hard Axe, don’t walk so fast. I can’t keep up, I can’t breathe, I can’t follow well. "A-Axel…please, let go…it hurts…let go…"  
I cry softly, tears falling down my cheeks. He doesn't stop, maybe he can't heard me. My redheaded friend drags me into an empty class room, shut the door and slams me against the door. I yell loudly in pain and cower away. Don’t hurt me, please, I just need to sit. Please just… let me breathe. I feel my legs wobbling from the strain of all the sensations. 

"You don't trust me? Roxas….you have always trusted me, with everything….even…even this." He pulls my hat off and pets my ears soothingly. The familiar warm rubbing feeling almost has me on my knees, so I barely hear him continue. "What can be so much worse than this? What needs to be more secret than this?" He whispers, but the angry edge is still in his voice. I shiver and open my mouth to speak, only to instantly close it. I'm scared. I can’t even get enough air to muster sounds. I feel my ears fold closely against my head. He sounds so angry, maybe he'll hurt me if I don't answer. It’s what I deserve for not trusting him. I don’t deserve such a good friend. Axel. Help me breathe, make the pain stop. Stop my tears please, I’m so tired of it all. With as much of a breath as I can muster, I whimper out. 

"A-axel….my dad….he…he….he beats me…..He woke me up….Dad was drunk and angry last night…he took it out on me…" Looking at Axel's strong, warm-looking chest. I wish to bury myself away there, in the fortress of his strong arms, and cry. I'm not going to look in his eyes, I can't. I know he's going to be looking at me, with his green eyes, with disgust. Just as that thought flutters about my head, Axel lifts my shirt. I jump and yelp loudly and gasp desperately trying to catch any amount of oxygen. His fingertips brush over a very red and black bruise.

"Roxas….this…it looks horrible….how long has he been hurting you?" Axel sounds pitiful. This makes me feel terribly guilty, for worrying him, and for keeping secrets. I hate secrets, I hate lying, and I don't like that my whole life is a big lie. I can't keep it in anymore. I start whimpering and mewling as I cry miserably still gasping for every breath. I can't take it anymore. My father, my stupid curse, my hurting Axel all the time. I can't so it. I'm so alone, and I can't. I’m such a freak, and I deserve the pain, but it’s so cruel for Axel to sound so concerned. To sound so nice, to be so caring. It surprises me when Axel hugs me to his chest, nuzzling my ear. "Rox, let's go….I'll go call Reno, alright? He'll get us out of school, and….he'll talk to Principle Ansem, alright? Just let me take care of you."

I know it's a bad idea to accept his offer. Cloud will be mad when he finds out. But I don't care at the moment, in Axel's arms. I feel air flowing a little easier, by heart beats slower, and my head stops spinning. It brings me back to the dream I had earlier, where his hands were all over, but never hurting. His whispers into my ear, and made my body tingle. Axel's essence makes my body feel weightless, and relaxed. Nothing feels wrong. I nod, agreeing to his idea and he immediately calls Reno. One arm still holding me protectively.

"Hey bro, I need a favor…yeah…No, hey come on, I don't want to just….no! Come on Re….It's for Roxas…No I will not tell you why. Just tr- … Reno Ich bin nicht nur indem er ihn aus der Schule für ... D -Das !"( Reno I am not just taking him out for school for…T-THAT!) Axel's face is getting really red and he's stammering a lot. What are they were talking about? The red color on Axel's cheeks is cute, and I giggle softly, but whine a second later from the white hot pain that shoots up my chest.

Axel looks down at me, looking serious again. "Reno, please, Rox will explain if he feels up to it, but this is important. Just get us out of school, and take us to see Yuna, alright? Thanks bro, I owe you one." Axel hangs up and smiles at me, his eyes look more worried than anything.

"Here," He slides my hat back on my head and grabs my backpack from me. "Let's go." He suggests softly. I nod, holding my chest and trying to keep my face neutral. I don't want to worry Axel any more than I have. Without his touch, the pain came back, the fantasy happy place lost, and I’m struggling to breathe again. It’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s what I get.


	2. I Hate Hospitals

Axel gently grabs my hand and escorts me straight to the main office. I try to squeeze it back, but the lack of oxygen in my lungs is making my brain fuzzy, and it’s hard to do anything other than focus on my breath and walking with the red head. Just breathe, and hold onto axel’s hand. He’ll keep me safe. An eternity of silence before my face collides with Axel’s back, knocking what little air was in my lungs out in a whorl-wind second. I lean against him, trying to replenish the air in my lungs slowly, deeply. Just have to inhale slow, then exhale slower. The smell of his shirt makes it a little easier, makes my brain a bit less dizzy and more calm, but only by a little. I’ll let Axel handle whatever’s going on, I’ll just nuzzle into the scent of his shirt and breathe. In….Out….Slow.

"Yuffie, Roxas was pushed down some stairs by Seifer, again. I got Reno to come take him out of school, he looks like he's got a concussion or something, look at his face!" He growls and pulls me in front of him. The sudden movement knocks all the air out of my lungs again. My head sworls in three different directions at the same time, making my stomach lurch painfully. Talking or even looking up from my feet is impossible. Thank god Axel made up a lie, I don't know what I could have said to get her to not ask questions. Right now I barely have enough brain power to stay standing. Just breathe.

There is a minute of deep silence before Yuffie sighs heavily. "Alright, thank you for telling me Axel. Wait here for your brother, and make sure Roxas gets that bruise looked at." Her soft voice floats over me with a feeling of relief. I was sure she was going to make me call my parents. Yuffie speaks up again. "I'll e-mail your teachers and tell them that you're out for an injury and need time to make up today's work."

I smile as best I can at her, and attempt to nod slowly. "Thank you." My voice is barely a breathless whisper. I’m so light headed and unfocused, my vision is spinning in the opposite direction of my brain. I forget, I was supposed to keep track of something. What was it? What’s happening? I feel weightless, but too heavy at the same time. My face smashes against something hard. Something trickles down from my nose. My body feels like a sack of pins and needles. What was happening? I hear Axel's voice, but it’s muffled and weird. Far away. Where is he going? What was going on? I can’t feel or see anything, I don't understand.

_____________________________________________

"Yuna! I think he's coming to!" Loud, so very loud. Who’s yelling like that? It sounds like… Axel. What does he mean by, 'coming to'? I slowly open my eyes and all I can see is white. It should hurt, but I can’t really feel anything. What’s going on? Then the light gets a lot less blinding because my mom, Axel, and Sora are hovering over me. Effectively blocking the florescent lights above. I stare at them. Where am I? What’s going on? They all look so worried. "Roxy, are you alright, does it hurt?" Axel asks, his voice dripping with worry. 

Sora cries softly, “Why Roxas…. You… you didn’t say anything….” The pain in his voice cuts deep, and I open my mouth to say something, but Axel cuts me off.

"He shouldn’t have had to say anything!” He grits through his teeth, glaring at Sora knowingly. 

My mom is hysterically crying something like, "My poor boy, I'm glad your alright, my poor boy." I barely understand what is going on around me. There was so much chaos that I feel myself start to panic. I can’t stop the bitter, blinding fear from engulfing me. I’m trapped. I can’t run, or answer any questions, or make them feel better. I can’t help them. I caused their pain, the sadness on their faces. The machine that was giving off a steady slow beep starts to pick up. I want out of here, out of this bed, away from the noise and the lights. I don’t want to see their pity, their disappointment of me. I don’t want to have to explain. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. 

"Give him some space, yo. He just woke up." A smooth, deep voice resonated inside my head, somewhat soothing the crippling fear. Just enough for me to remember who the voice belongs to. Reno, Axel's older brother. "Man Axel, when you say things are serious, you mean it don't you?" I look to the door on my left and blink at him. He frowns and I see the sadness in his eyes too. I don’t know what I did to make everyone so worried. They all back off a bit, going to sit down in their chairs. I try to sit up, wanting to show them I’m perfectly fine. They don’t have to worry. Dad just got carried away, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing I can’t handle. I want to leave, to show them I’m okay. I sit up, but instantly regret that decision. Pain shot from my chest outward, everywhere. I feel the yelp bubble in my throat and tear it’s way through the air. "Ah!!" 

Axel is next to me in a second, running his fingers through my hair, and murmuring in my ear softly. "You have a couple bruised ribs, one is broken, don't move so much." He rubs my ear soothingly causing me to purr miserably, nuzzling into his hand. The purr is vibrating through my body, soothing the ache in my chest. His caring touch and my purring is making me relax, makes me sleepy. I smile up at him, eyes half lidded. He smiles back at me, never stopping his soothing action. He knows just how to calm me down, knows just what I need. The door opening and closeing causes me to tense up again. Axel stopped playing with my ear and he looks over to the door. His face is tense and angry. Who is he looing at? What’s wrong? I look over to see my father, Cloud, standing at the door. His hair and work attire looking disheveled, and a seething expression plastered on his face. Sora stands up and tugs him gently into a chair. What is he doing here? He needs to leave, I don't want him here. I don’t want him to see me looking so pathetic. I don’t want him to know how broken he’s made me. 

My mom gets up and kisses his cheek. "Darling, Roxas has-"

My father rudely cuts my mother off with a growl. "Yeah, I know. Pushed down stairs. I'm just here because they called me out of a meeting." He glares at me with hate. I feel so small, but not small enough. I need to get out of here. Away from his death glare, away from this bed. "You need to learn to be less clumsy Roxas." He spits out my name. Mom doesn’t notice the animosity in his voice toward me. Maybe she just ignores it? I don’t know, I don’t wanna think about it either. I whisper a small 'I'm sorry' and I feel Axel and Sora watching me with unhappy faces. What am I supposed to do? I'm the black sheep, the one no one wants; I need to be compliant to survive. I’m the one who made dad’s life harder. It’s all my fault. I can’t say anything. I don’t want to hurt anymore people, I don’t want to cause anymore problems.

"Well, now that I know your mother is here, I'll be going back to work." he stands curtly and leaves, not saying a word more. I didn't mind though, I could breath easier now. With him gone, maybe Axel will start petting my ear again. Maybe he will smile at me again. I lay back a bit and sigh softly, putting my arm over my eyes. There’s a sting of tears in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. My dad doesn’t really care if I was ok. I already know that. I knew that since this all began. That didn’t make it hurt any less to watch his uncaring, hateful eyes. It didn’t make watching him leave uncaring any less painful. He only played the part of a parent because that’s what was expected of him. 

I hear the soft clack of my mother’s heals step over to me. Then her cold hand on my hair, and her soft voice "Darling, are you tired? I'll go ask the doctor if you can leave." She kisses my forehead and I hear her heels click out of the room in search of my doctor. 

"Roxas! You didn't tell me dad hit you that hard! You have to tell mom! This is just...this is a whole-" Sora yells, a mix of worry and anger. Axel growls at him to stop, because I start to cry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Sora. I’m so weak.  
"Halt die Klappe! Sora! You’re making him cry."(Shut up Sora!) He warns Sora angrily. 

"Roxas, what is this about your father hitting you?" Reno’s voice is low and dark. It makes me jump and whimper. I forgot he was even here.   
What am I supposed to say? His voice is almost demonic in his anger, and that scared me. I didn’t think he would be so angry with me. I didn’t mean to make him angry. I shrink away into my pillows, more soft sobs bubbling from my chest. I don’t want him to see me cry. I don’t want them to know. My secrets are out, and I can’t take them back. I reach down for the scratchy hostpital blanket and pull it over my shamefull face. I’m the worst. The absolute worst. 

"Please...don't tell mom...mom loves him...I don't want to hurt mom..." I whimper and sob. I can’t even stop it. I sound so pathetic. I feel so useless. I’m stupid. Weak. I can’t even keep a simple secret. Then there is shuffling and a loud SMACK. Then Reno is yelling in German.

"Wie konntest du zulassen, dass ihm so Weh getan wird! Dummkopf! Warum hast du seiner Mutter nichts gesagt! Und du, Sora! Du hättestetwas sagen kö-!”(How could you let him get injured like that? Idiot! Why didn't you say anything to his mom! And you! Sora! You could have-) Axel cuts in before he can say anymore, his voice is soft and sad.

"Bruder, Roxas just told me this morning. I’m sure he’s told sora exactly what he just told you. How were we supposed to hurt him that way? Sora could have said something. He should have, but he also didn’t want to betray his brother’s trust. It’s not that simple." He sighs heavily. I poke my head out from under the covers, tears still stinging my eyes. They all look at me at the same time. I instantly start to pull the covers back over my head. I don’t want them to fight. I don’t want them t look at me. A soft sob rumbles out of my chest again. I’m so miserably pathetic. 

"I...if mom and dad get divorced...then Sora would be hurt too...Sora loves dad. Just-" Sora rips the blankets away from my face. His own is angry and red, tears falling down his own cheeks. 

"Roxas, I don't like him if he is hurting my brother, my twin. I don’t love dad enough to want him to get away with this. I don’t like him hurting you! I didn't want you to hate me if I said something." He sits on the bed next to me taking my hands in his, and stares into my eyes. I can barely look back at him. It’s like he’s trying to stare into my soul. I don’t want to know what he’ll find there. I don’t want him to know how much I hate myself. I don’t want to see his worry anymore. I did this to myself. 

"Rox, you used to be so...bright, sunny. Like me, you know? But now you're afraid, and you keep your head down." He lifts my chin to make me look him his eyes, I’m too stunned to look away. "I was too young to do anything when dad started to turn on you for being a mutant. Now that I'm older, I'm afraid of him, too. I don't know what to do..." He sobs and the sound made my heart freeze, shatter, and embed the freezing pieces in my heart and lungs. Seeing Sora crying hurts, it hurts so bad. The fact he’s crying over me make it so much worse. I feel like scum. I can’t believe I made my brother cry. I’m such a horrible person. So horrible. Fresh tears sting my eyes and stain my cheeks.

"Sora...It's-" I wanted to tell him it’s not his fault, but my mom walked in. I clam up and looked at her. We all hold our breath. I feel the pieces of my heart rebuild itself like they were magnetized and attracted to each other, freeze over again and plummet into my stomach. Panic. The heart monitor betrayed my emotions. My heart was beating so quickly. Are they going to tell her? Reno might, Reno has always hated it when Axel let me get hurt. Even if it was just a tiny scrape of the knee. He is like a big brother. Axel is mad at me though, for not saying anything sooner. I can see in Sora’s eyes that he’s thinking about saying something. They all could say something. My head swirls as I pray, I pray to every holy spirit possible. Please don’t let them say anything. I look at Axel, begging him not to speak. Then I look up at Reno, begging silently. They both look indifferent. That scares me. I bite my lip painfully hard. Please. Please. Please.

"Good news!” She pauses for a stunned second, “Sora, why are you crying?" Her smile instantly falls when she ses his tears. I look to Axel again, asking what I should do. His face is still unreadable. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" My mom asked me, even more more worried. Axel looks back at me, watches me intently. He’s staring deep into my soul. Somehow it’s not as scary as when Sora was doing it. I want nothing less than to curl into his lap and cry. To let him pet my ear till I forget. His stare is not that inviting though. He is urging me to tell my mom about my father. I cant tell. I shake my head and look away. I don’t want to see him look disappointed in me. I can’t handle that. 

"I just don't like seeing my brother is so much pain..." his whisper is sad and deflated as he nuzzles my hands. "Can he go ho-"

Axel buts in before my brother can finish, and my heart jumps at the sound of his voice. Is he going to tell? I close my eyes tight, afraid. I can’t look at any of them. I don’t want to see her heart shatter. I can’t be the cause of that. "Mrs. Strife..." He pauses for a second, "Can Roxas come to my house? Sleep over for the weekend?” My eyes spring open and I look at Axel, completely stunned. He wants me to come over? I look at my mom, feeling a deep blush creeping to my cheeks. Will she let me go? 

"Oh, well, the doctor only said for him to be careful of the rib and try not to strain himself... but he’s really hurt. I don’t know if staying anywhere-”

Axel cuts off my mom and smiles in his charming way. Oh god, I love that smile. I have to struggle to keep my heart beat in check, so people don’t notice. I didn’t do a very good job because the heart monitor’s beeps sped up considerably. Everyone turns to look at me, worried. Axel looks at me, worried. "Rox, are you ok?"

"Yeah...I'm fine..." I mumble and bite my lip hard. Calm down. This isn't good. I need to calm down, and fast. "I'm just scared...dad didn't seem too happy that I’m in the hospital… Mom, can I go stay with Axel for the weekend? Let dad cool off? I bet the bill is driving him crazy. He’s been so stressed with bills and work…." I mumble, looking to my bewildered mother. My heart pounds,"You know Axel and Reno won't let me do anything strenuous. They will probably try to carry me home..." I chuckle and Axe did too. A blush crept up to my cheeks again. I wish he would carry my home. Axel looks at my mom, a brilliant smile on his handsome face. So handsome. No one can say no. I know she’s done for. She looks between us and sighs, with a small smile. She knows that there was no fighting it.

"Yes, alright, fine. But promise that you won't hurt yourself." She hugs me tight and I wince, biting back a wimper. She immediately lets go and instead kisses my cheek and pets my ear. I purr at her and smile softly, tired. That seems to calm her down.   
She sighs again. " I want phone calls before bed, ok?" I chuckle softly, my mom always says this when I spend the night over at anyone's house. I nod and smile more. Going to Axel’s will be so good. I wont have to deal with dad’s wrath until Monday. Maybe I can convince Axel to let me curl into his lap. "Alright, well, I've signed you out already. So you can leave. Here’s the prescription for Roxas’ pain medication."

Reno grins,"Bitte, we will take care of him. Komm Kätzchen, let's get you home."(Please...come kitty) I giggle at the nickname, trying to hide the wince of pain, and nod. I sit up as slowly as possible, closing my eyes tightly as pain shoots up my spine. Oh god, this is not going to be fun. I hear Axel call my nickname, and my ears flatten against my head in shame. "Katzchen? Are you alright? Maybe he should stay here..."

"No! Axel, I want to go with you! I don't want to stay here...I'm fine, really." I protest, pleading to him with my eyes. His emerald eyes search my sapphire ones. He’s babying me, which is equl parts flattering and frustrating. I really have had worse pain. I pout a bit, dispite myself. "I'm fine Axel, trust me." I stand slowly and smile up at him triumphantly. See Axe? I can be strong! You don’t have to worry. The redheaded brothers look at each other and chuckle. 

Axel grins looks to his brother and says, "Also, wer wird ihn nach Hause tragen?" (So, who's carrying him home?) I huff and look away, feeling heat on my cheeks again. Why do they have to speak German around me like im not here? I know they do that when they talk about me. They do it so often, I don't understand what they're saying most of the time.

Reno grins at him mischeiviously, "Ich denke du sollst, du wirst wie ein Held aussehen oder so." (I think you should, you would look like hero or something.)((AN: if any germans have a better phrasing for that, PLEASE help me fix my German. G-translate and my shitty American school German classes wont teach me to speak authentically.)) Axel instantly flushes and clamped his lips shut, glaring at Reno. His older brother just grins at him widely, knowingly. I shake my head and walk over to my mom and hug her. She hugs me back like I would break if she put any real pressure on me. I smiled at this; it’s nice to have atleast one parent care. I love her. I will do anything to make her happy. 

Mom and I let go of each other and I turn to hug Sora, whispering in his ear. "I'm not mad at you, I love you Sora; thank you for being a great brother." He hugs me tightly around my waist, trying to avoid hurting my ribs, but My chest hurts like no tomorrow. He nuzzles my shoulder, whispering something I can’t really hear. I just let him hug me. I know he is worried, and mad at himself for not telling anyone about dad. I don’t want him to be sad. I loved Sora too, even if I did resent him sometimes for being the normal child. 

He nuzzles my neck and kisses my cheek softly. "I'll make it up to you brother." Whispering on my skin before he let go of me with a smile. Now, the German brothers. I raised my eye brow when I saw Axel looking away, blushing almost as red as his hair, and Reno grinning evilly.   
"Are we going you two? I'd prefer to not have to be here longer than I have to." I hate hospitals. I've been in this one long enough, and want to leave. I put my pants on without taking off the stupid gown, and then take off the gown to put on my shirt. Pain shoots up through my skull, and I bite my lip hard to ignore it. I don’t want to work them all up again. God forbid any of them try to help me change like im five. I was careful not to let my skin show. I don’t want mom to see all the scars and bruises. I just want to go. Get the fuck out of this sterile, too bright hell hole. Away from the pitying looks. Much to my delight, Axel smirks and me, and nods. His cheeks are still red, though, which makes him look a weird mix between sexy and adorable. I wish I knew the word for it.

"Komm Kätzchen."(Come kitty) He walks over to me, turns around and crouches down. What? What the hell is he doing? I blink and look up to Reno, confused. What the hell is Axel doing? Reno laughs hard behind his hand. He tried to hide it. He wasn't doing a good job.

"Its called a piggyback ride Roxy, get on. I'm carrying you to the car." He speaks nonchalantly. I blush and stare at his back for a moment. Should I? It will probably feel so nice, but I can walk. I don’t want to burden him. I’m so heavy. Axe glances back at me with a smile, and I can’t hold back anymore. I hug him tight around his neck, and my legs tightly wrap themselves around his waist. I winc at the pain that shoots through my chest because of my movement. Oh god, it’s hard to breathe again. Maybe if I just, nuzzle his neck, it will be eaiser to ignore it. He does smell so good. Axe cupped my thighs as he stands, lifting me into the air. I know he’s just doing it so I don’t fall, but his fingers have found a sensitive spot on my inner thigh. I yelp and blushed darkly, hiding my face in his neck more. Sora and Reno are snickering at the display. Of course this was entertaining to Sora. He knows I like Axel. I have no idea why Reno thinks this is so funny, but it’s not helping the blush on my cheeks go away.

My heart hammers in my chest as Axel stands, making me a head taller than him. I feel like I’m on top of the world. Damn Axel for being so tall. Does he see the world like this all the time? It’s so weird. Reno walks over and puts my beanie on my head. I blush and stare at him from behind Axel’s head. He just gives me a knowing look that churns my insides. "You ready Roxy? Reno?" Axel says with a smirk in his voice. I nod against his neck, and tighten my grip as he starts walking to his car.

I wave to my mom and Sora as we leave. I’m glad I don’t have to go home. I don’t want to have to deal with Sora’s guilt as much as my father’s wrath. Axel is truly the best for letting me go over to his house. The walk to the car is quiet, and I can tell that they want to say something. What I have no idea, and that terrorofies me. They obviously don’t approve of me keeping quiet. I tense when I see Axel's brignt green ford fusion. What are they going to say to me? Are they going to make me tell mom? Axel carefully places me down on the ground and helps me into his car. Reno put my backpack in the trunk. Shifitng my eyes between Reno and Axel nervously as I bite my lip ina similar fashion. They both get in the car, and Axe pulls away silently. We drive along for what seams like an eternity before Reno speeks seriously. "Roxas...How long has Cloud been abusing you?"

My tail curls around my wast and I try to shrink away from Reno’s gaze in the rearview. I shake my head. I don’t want to answer him. I can’t. I barely even remember when it all started. Reno’s gaze doesn’t falter, and eventually I mumble low. "Since ...Elementary School...since I...since they figured out about my mutation. He resents me for some reason...he must think I'm a freak..." My voice skeaks at the last word. It's true my own dad must think I'm a freak. My heart squeezes more painfully than the sting and stab of my rib. I’m a freak. A nussince. 

"Verdammt! Why didn't you tell me Roxy! I would have done something! I want to help you..." Axel yells frustration and hurt dripping from his voice. I hide my face in my knees and cry silently. The pain in my chest is doubled. My head is back to spinning a mile a minute. I wish I could disappear. "Roxas, what are we supposed to do? I can’t hide this secret. I can’t let him hurt you like this. Now now that I know.”

"If you told, it would hurt me more!" my voice is loud and frantic, my cheeks flushed in frustration and embarrassment. He shouldn’t butt in. This isn’t just about me. I’m barely even a factor. Mom and Sora... They are the ones who matter.   
My eyes go wide and the world slows down. I yelled. At Axel. I raised my voice to him. I haven't ever yelled at Axel like that. I know what yelling gets me. Dread fills my chest, and I curl up more, into a tighter ball. Don’t look at him. Don’t draw anymore attention to yourself. If you don’t say anything more, maybe he missed it. Maybe. Axel wouldn’t hurt me, right? I don’t know. I yelled at him. He didn’t deserve that after everything he’s done. I’m scum. I don’t deserve his kindness. Everything hurts, especially my chest because im trying to hold in my sobs. The best I can do is quietly cry. I’m sorry Axel. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t hate me. I’m so sorry. So, So sorry…. I didn't want to make anyone angrier.

We pull into Axel's driveway and he doesn't even ask to carry me in. He just mutters something in German and walks inside, not even looking at me. I stare after him, hurt. I should just go home. He hates me now. What am I to do? I can feel myself start trembling, and I hug myself tight. I need to keep it together. Axel, besides my brother, is my safe haven. He makes me smile when I don't even want to. My heart thunders in my ears. I should walk home. Nothing ever goes right. Reno taps my shoulder lightly after opening my door. I glance up at him, tears falling down my cheeks. He smiles sadly at me, and holds his hand out to me. "Come on Roxas. You can't stay here." I shakd my head and look down at my hands. My ears flat against my head.

"I made him hate me...I can't go in now...I can't...I'm just a bother...I...I hurt him...I yelled...I don't know why... I should just go home… Axel wont want to see my face after that. I don’t blame him. I’m so pathetic!" I sob hard the action shaking me to my very core. Reno huffs angrily. I freeze, scared, screwing my eyes shut, waiting for Reno to hit me. To put me in my place. 

"Get out of the damn car!" He barks. My blood runs cold and I scrambled to get out. Not caring about my well beaing, and carelessly knocking into the door. Oh god, I’m sure by rib shifted or something. Fuck that hurts. I just have to keep my head down and try to stop shaking. I deserve this. Reno huffs again and grabs my backpack from the trunk. I reach for it, but Reno glares at me. My ears fall flat against my head, making my benie shift uncomfortably. The dissiness is coming back. The pain in my chest is still raging. I am just pathetic. Reno nudges me inside and I yelp. Fuck! Ow,Ow,Ow! Fuck…. My teeth sink into my lip hard, and I hurridly walk to the door. It’s what he wants right? I’ll go say sorry to Axel, then I’ll go home. I’m pretty sure that’s why Reno’s angry. It would be rude of me to not go apologize. 

I grab the knob and open the door. My hands are shaking so hard, I’m surprised I even got the door open. I step into the house as quietly as possible. “A-A-Axel?” Ugh, so pathetic. Can’t I just say anything in a not whiny, gross, girly sounding voice? It might be possible if I could ever stop shaking. The floor is so very interesting, along with my shoes. I see a pair of black sock covered feet join mine of the very interesting floor. Axel had heard me. I squeeze my eyes shut. Just say it. Just do it. The faster you do it, the faster you can get out of his hair. The faster you can stop bothering him. “I-I’m so sorry Axel. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Please don’t hate me. I-I…I’m just going to-”


	3. A Better Day

A hand covers my mouth, not letting my finish. Looking up, I see Axel looking at me with an array of mixed emotions on his face. My cheeks flush hot, and tears trickle down my cheeks, touching Axel’s hand. For a moment, I swear he’s going kick my ass for having walked in the door. He surprises me by walking up to his brother and grabbing him by the collar and slamming him to the wall. A yelp escapes my lips at the sound, and my insides turn cold, making me shake. Axel souts in German at his brother, a malicious look on his face. ”Reno hör auf ein Arsch zu Roxas zu sein! Er bekommt genug davon zuhause! Es gibt keinen Grund ihn noch mehr davon duchmachen zu lassen! Ich bin auch verärgert, aber es gibt keinen Grund ihn zu verletzen! Du erschreckst ihn! Hör einfach auf ihn anzuschreien!“ (Reno! stop being an ass to Roxas! he gets enough of that as home! there is no reason to stress him out more! I'm angry at this too, but there is no reason to hurt him! you're scaring him! just stop yelling at-)

I don't understand what he’s saying. But I he’s said my name many times. He’s probably angry at Reno for letting me in. Tears fall down my cheeks faster, sobs wracking my body. I didn’t mean to make them fight. I run over to them, my heart pounding in my ears, I wrap my arts around Axel from behind. My grip on his shirt was half from my panic, half to keep me standing as I wheeze from the exertion. I ca't help but notice how muscular and warm he is. I can’t let that distract me. I have to make it better. I can feel how tense he is, and I know I caused it. I need to make him relax again. I bury my face in his back, trying to quell the stupid sobs that wrack my body. I finally manage to cry out. "Axe don't! I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier...I'm sorry...don't hurt Reno. He told me to come in...I shouldn't have listened. Be mad at me axel! I didn't think I hurt you that bad...I'm sorry...I wanted to go, I tried to walk away, but he wouldn't let me. I'll go Axe...I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you." I desperately try to stop crying, holding my breath till my body screamed at me to take a breath. Even then, I can’t. Not until Axel relaxes. I don’t deserve to breathe. I feel so dizzy and light headed. Even still, I just squeeze my friend tighter. I feel my pulse everywhere in my body. It’s slowly getting numb though. Just hold you’re breath Roxas, and you wont make them angrier. I can’t feel my fingers anymore, and my body feels heavy like it did this morning. I think I’m falling again. Good. I deserve this. 

Axel screams my name as I fall to the floor. The THUD reverberates through my body. The act of hitting the ground forced me to take air into my lungs. Everything tingles all over. I don't want to go back to the hospital, I will the dizziness away. I look up at Reno with too heavy eyes. Reno is on the phone, calling someone, talking fast. Axel is beside me, calling my name. They both sound so distant. I call out to Axel, I try to say sorry, but he covers my mouth with his hand. He says something, but it sounds like a distorted echo. I call out again and he pets my ear. Oh god, that feels so damn good. I nuzzle his hand, wanting to feel more of that. I feel the purr vibrate through my chest, slowly helping the pain and dizziness. It gets a bit easier to hear correctly. Reno is talking frantically to my mom. Shit. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

"No, he fell...again, no; yes...I don't think so. He's not passed out...no...he just looks dazed...I don't think he needs...no...its ok...I just...alright, I promise, yes...I'm sorry..." he hangs up and huffs loudly. "Is he ok?" He asks as I sit up. The dizziness coming back some. It’s nothing I can’t handle. 

"I'm alright...I'm fine...I can walk home, I'm ok." I feel my lips moving over and over. I just have to stand up, to show him. But my legs are so wobbly. I can’t really find a stable place to stand. It's frustrating me. Suddenly I feel weightless and terrified. I clamp my eyes shut for a moment, curling up. Why is it so warm? Slowly, very slowly I peek my eyes open to see Axel’s face, very close. He must have picked me up bridal style. Oh god, this is so embarrassing. I look away again, feeling my cheeks get red again.

"Roxas. Look at me, please?" He says softly, but sternly. I can’t help but comply and stare into his hurt eyes. The look hurts more then my chest, more then my head, more then all of my injures so far. I hate seeing him sad. He puts a hand on my cheek. Out of reflex from my father, I flinch. I hate myself for it. It’s Axel, He wouldn’t do that. But I did anyway, and I can’t stand it. I wish I could glare at myself. "Roxas, I'm not mad at you...We’re just frustrated. We care about you...I care about you. Its hard to understand how you would just...let this go on." He speaks so softly. My body warms up, with guilt. But also, something else. Something fuzzy, like when he smiles at me. I gnaw on my lip. I’m afraid to say anything. Axel leans down and kisses my cheek. He kissed my cheek. He KISSED my cheek. Axel. I was so wrapped up in that, that I almost missed him say, "Tut mir leid, Roxy..." with his thick German accent. I can’t contain the shiver that shoots through m spine. When he speaks like that, it just goes straight to my groin. It’s just as good at when he rubs my ears. It’s a cure-all for anything. I wouldn't admit it to him but I love when he speaks German. Axel lays me on the sofa and smiles sadly at me.

"I don't want daddy to leave...daddy loves me...somewhere..." I confess, looking away again. I’m unable to look at Axel's disappointment. I feel so childish. I fiddle with the hem of my shirt and glance at Axel. He has such a pitting look. It cuts so hard. "I know he does...Somewhere deep… I-I’m his son, he has to right? A-And…And Sora and mom need him...mom...doesn't make enough for us to be able to loose dad...we would have to move." Fucking hell, I sound like a kid. With fresh tears and squeaky sad voice and all. Have I said how fucking pathetic I am? "I don't want to leave."

Axel runs his long slender fingers through my hair before pulling me into his chest. "Fine Rox...if you're so hell bent on staying with your dad. Come over whenever you need to. If he hurts you, come here. If your scared, I will pick you up any time." My face is against his chest, so he can’t see my blush this time. I nuzzle close into the lean pecks and I whimper. I wrap my arms around him tightly, gripping his shirt. He pulls me closer, and I feel so, light. I have a way out; I can leave if I need to. Its going to be ok. I felt a second hand on my ear, caressing. I purred and blushed.

"I'm sorry for yelling Roxas, I just was mad that you got hurt." Reno’s equally soothing voice invades my ears, I shiver. This is beginning to get bad. My ears are...sensitive to say the least. Especially being so close to Axel, and feeling so good to begin with. Reno's fingers trail to the base of my ear and I bite back a moan. My hands grip Axel's shirt more and I hear his deep voice in my ear. "What's wrong Roxy?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What do I say? I’m feeling so relieved, and happy, and my ears are so sensitive that It’s turning me on? I didn't answer; I can’t answer. Today has been such a roller-coaster of emotions and feelings, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I just need to relax. It must be the stress. Reno’s fingers aren’t stopping. Fuck, and Axel’s starting to rub circles into my lower back. My hands are shaking, trying desperately to hold back all the lewed noises. This all reminded me of my dream. Reno chuckles as he rubbed faster. Oh FUCK! That feels so good! Fucking dammit! It feels like he’s doing this on purpose! "Ah! ~” Fuck, I couldn’t hold that in. It sounded so dirty. I’m such a sick fuck, but fuck Axel’s hands are rubbing softly at the base of my tail, and I can’t hold it in anymore! “G-Guys...stop...you know I'm sensitive." I look at Reno, panting. He has a scary grin and it makes me nervous. I look to Axe who's grinning as well. "W-what?"

Axel leans down, his breath on my ear, and whispers to me. "That was hot Roxas. I didn't know you were that sensitive there." He chuckles. Another shiver wracks my body and I hide my face in his chest again. Fucking Axel, they were doing that on pourpose! It’s not fair for them to gang up on me like that! Axel carefully lifts me up and sets me on his lap. He chuckles again and holds me, petting my ear in his special, calming way. I shiver again and nuzzled his chest. It’s not calming me so much anymore as it’s turning me on. I purr appreciatively, I love those fingers~ I arch my back so his hand would have better access. I vaguely hear Reno laugh and walk off.

"Don't do anything on my sofa you two." Axel laughs and shake his head. His fingers still rubbing my ear.

„Du bist derjenige, der Roxas in diesen Zustand versetzt hat. Ich bereinige nur dein Schlamassel, Bruder.“ (you are the one who got Roxy like this. I just have to clean your mess, brother.) He calls after his brother with a chuckle. His hand never stops rubbing my ear. Once Reno was out of the room, Axel looks at me, his jade eyes holding a hint of mischief, but mostly worry. "So, Katzchen~ how are you feeling? Does it hurt? " It melts my heart.

"N-no...I'm fine now...I like it when you rub my ears like that. It almost makes me forget about everything that’s happened today." I smile, feeling the blood heating my cheeks, and climb off Axel's lap to sit next to him on the sofa. I stretch out, extending my arms up, and lengthening my back. Being curled up all the time really stresses out my joints. I hum softly, until I hear Axel laughing at me. "What?" Pouting at him hard.

"You stretch like a cat... Du bist sehr süß, Kätzchen“ (You are very cute, kitty) he chuckles and ruffles my hair. My pout deepens and the heat returns to my face. I don't like it when people point out that I'm abnormal. I don't really like that Axel and Reno call me kitty. I bite my lip and curl up on the other corner of the sofa, away from Axel. I’ll just stop doing stuff like that. It’s the best solution to not bring attention to my curse. "What's wrong Roxy?"

With a huff, "Please don't say stuff like that ...I don't even like being...me..." I’m surprised I managed to say that outloud. I wrap my tail around myself and watch the floor. I feel Axel shift next to me. I can’t help but look over at him. When I did so, his face was right next to mine. His eyes are so intense, staring into my soul. I freak out and my hair stands on end and I fall off the sofa. Own, god, that hurt. I let out a loud groan and hold my ribs. Axel is next to me in seconds.

'I'm sorry Roxy, I wasn’t trying to tease you...I'm sorry...I didn't hurt you, did I?" He looks me over and I huff in irritation. My chest hurts. My cheeks are too hot. My head is frazzled. I’m too horny for this. I want to be able to be normal, not a cat-freak, not painfully attracted to my best friend. From the corner of my eye I notice Axel’s lips curl down more, worrying about me again. I curl into the corner more. I don’t really know what to say to him, so I’m left fidgeting uncomfortably in my spot. 

"You don't look ok Roxas..." he sighs again. His hand cups my cheek, his thumb rubbing circles. A small shiver runs through my spine and I nuzzle his large, warm hand. "Maybe we need to distract you...and loosen you up. You're too high strung." He smiled and helped me stand.  
"Come on, let's go for a drive." This doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so I nod in response. This could be fun, and it’s better than awkwardly trying not to get worked up again. I silently put my shoes on as he grabs his keys. „Bruder, wir gehen in den Laden um etwas für Roxas zum entspannen zuholen.” (Brother, we are going to the store, for something to loosen Roxy up!) He calls to his brother. The sound of his heavy German accent goes straight to my crotch. I wish I could speak German, and sound so manly and authoritative. I also wish I could understand what the hell they are talking about. 

Reno calls back amused, “Tu nichts, was ich nicht auch tun würde! Du weisst er ist zu jung für  
Alkohol! Vergiss nicht, ich kenne dich nicht, wenn ihr in Schwierigkeiten kommt. (don't do anything I wouldn't do! you know he is too young for alcohol! remember I don't know you if you get in trouble!)

Axel blushes darkly and yells with a bark, “So ist es nicht, du Arsch!” (it's not like that you ass!)His tone is defensive, I really wish I could understand the words behind his reaction. I giggle softly at their antics, even if I didn't understand. Axel and Reno are a funny pair, almost like a sitcom. I look up to see Axel smiling warmly at me. My heart flips and my stomach twists. His eyes are so beautiful when he smiles like that. I blush even more and flatten my ears to my head. It’s so when he stares at me like that. He looks at me like that, every time I laugh at something he’s said or done. My body tingles and my heart flutters rapidly in my chest. "Let's get going Roxy."

I nod enthusiastically, putting on my beanie. I wonder if we’re going to get ice-cream. Axel huffs and look up at him, confused. "What?"

"I wish you didn't have to hide your ears away...they're very cute." The words alone have my stomach twisting in excited nervous knots, and he’s still smiling at me, so it makes me feel like I’m floating. I bite my lip, blushing, unwilling to break eye contact. I love those eyes. That smile. I could get lost in it. I’d take a million beatings and break every bone, if he’d keep smiling at me that way. After a moment Axe reaches up and ruffles my beanie. Fuck! I hissed at him on instinct at the offending action, baring my teeth and clutching my ears. Axe retracts his hand like it’s on fire, stunned. For a moment, I rub my ears, glaring. Then It hit me. I hissed, at Axel. For the second time today, I’ve gotten angry with him. 

"S-sorry...that hurt a lot, you twisted my ears a b-bit” My voice is so shaky, I can’t even it out because I'm too scared. Maybe if I try to joke, he’ll forget about being mad at me for being mean? “I...haven't don't that since grade school." I shake my head and Axel chuckles. I smile and the trembling stops. Axe isn’t mad, I can relax. I follow him out as he comments on what I shared.

"You're such a cat Rox, so feisty." He mocks. I stick my lounge out at him. He chuckles and walks faster. "Come Roxy, I wanna buy you something special." I watch as he grins wide. That didn’t sound creepy or ominous. We walk to his car and get in. I fidget in my seat as we get going, biting my lip. 

“Axe, were are we going? Can’t you even give me a hint?” I pout, trying to be cute. Sometimes he does what I ask when I try to look cute enough. I notice him blush, and grip the steering wheel harder, but his grin just widens mischievously. 

“Nope, Sorry Roxy~ We’ll be there shortly~” He sounds mildly excited, which is really starting to worry me. What could get that devious glint in Axel’s eye like that?

“Please Axe?” Maybe if I pout more, watching his strong features as they focus on the road ahead. For a moment I get lost, watching him. He should be illegal, he’s so handsome I lost my original train of thought. Not long after, we pull into a parking lot, and I can’t believe where we are.

"A fucking pet store Axel? Really? That's just mean...I'm not a pet..." I deadpan. He’s really trying to tease me hard today, but this is almost going too far… He chuckles and grabs my hand. I try my best to get out of his grip, but he's too strong for me. I don’t want to get out, and go in there. "Axel! Let me go! This isn't funny, at all...” I whimper softly, hoping he’ll respond to my tone. He shakes his head and leans in closer, smiling softly.

"Come on, I promise, I’ll buy all your Ice cream for 2 months if you don’t like it.” The way his lip jutted out in his pout, and the pleading intent behind his beautiful eyes are just irresistible. With a huff I grumble “You better…” and get out of the car. I’m so pissed, he has so much control over me, and I can’t bring myself to really care. Which is frustrating, because as a man I shouldn’t want him to sweep me up off my feet and things like that. But ehre I am, letting him talk me into what ever surprise he had thought of. I just hope he doesn’t fucking buy me a collar with a damn bell on it. Oh, ugh, what is that smell? As soon as I get out of the car, a wall of smells invaded my nose. 

"Ew...it smells like….dogs..." I gag and cover my nose. Ugh, fucking gross. I hate dogs, they always smell like piss and mold. "I don't like these places Axe...can't we just go back to your place?" I whine and he shakes his head. I pout at him hard, hoping he’ll cave, but he doesn’t. Which sucks, because my nose is stinging a bit from all the different smells of alls the different dogs that are allowed to wonder the store with their owners. Axe grabs my free hand and drags me into the store. We go straight for the cat isle where a delectable scent his my senses through all the dog musk. I open one of the bottles and sniffs deeply. Mmmm~ I love this smell~. It makes my nose tingle in delight, and it dulls away most of the offending smells. I take another big wiff, and I feel a wash of dizzy delight. Axel chuckles deep in his throat,and the sound does some naughty things to me. My cheeks heat up and I glace at him.

"I knew it, you like cat nip!" He shouts enthusiastically. I frown hard and all the good feelings wash away as quickly as they came. Of course I like catnip, doesn’t everyone like the smell? No, I don’t think everyone gets a tiny buzz from it like I do. Stupid, I’m so stupid. I put the sweet smelling goodness cat toy down and stare at the ground.

"I know...I'm a freak...please don't remind me..." I murmur solemnly. I hate not being normal. Sometimes I feel like a cat stuck in a human body, and other times I feel like a human stuck in a cat’s body. I don’t even know what I am. I feel tears pricking my eyes, and damn it, I don’t want to cry anymore today. 

Axe whispers hotly in my ear, his arms wrap themselves around my waist. "I wasn't saying your a freak Roxy. I don't want you to change. I like you for you. I thought the nip would help you loosen up, and forget for a bit." He grabs a big plastic jar of it. "What do you say Kätzchen?" I nod and, bite my lip before I open the jar again, sniffing deeply. I moan softly, so only Axel can hear. It feels good to have my senses dulled, yet it heightens them. It makes me hyper aware of Axel’s arms around me, his chin on my shoulder. His breath on my neck. Oh damn,, I can smell him. His chocolate axe mixed with that cinnamon scent that always seams to linger on him and all of his things. 

"Smells good...really good..." I’m mumbling about him, but he doesn’t have to know that. He doesn’t ever need to know. I want to nuzzle my face into his chest, but that would make it very obvious.

"Maybe I should get the grow-able nip, so you can chew it during school." He chuckles and grabs the kit. I nod. The nip is making it hard to care about this being so weird. It feel nice, the warmness and the haze. A smile spreads on my lips and Axel walks me to the line. I follow him closely. We only make it a few steps before a dog barks at me.  
“Ah!” I hide behind Axel, gripping his shirt tight. This stupid dog needs to get away. I don’t like the way it’s looking at me. I barely register the hiss that passes my lips, and the low growl in my throat. Stupid thing needs to mind it’s own damn business.

"Rox, calm down a bit ok?" He puts his hand on my head, his warm hand spreads through my body instantly. The pleasant haze is back, I nuzzle my head against his hand. I really want him to pet my ears. Axel takes me to the counter and we pay. As we leave I stick my tongue out at the dog. Stupid mutt. He growls at me, but I know I won this little battle. My owner- wait...owner? I stop in my tracks, staring at the floor, confused. I'm not an actual pet. The little nip I've smelled is messing with my head. I’m not a cat, not… completely anyway. Axel doesn’t… Own me. That doesn’t sound so bad, though. Axel is kind, and takes care of me. He buys me ice cream and pets my hair. I nuzzle his arm and purr. He's warm and cozy and I love the feeling of his soft skin on my cheek. Axel chuckles for the hundredth time since we got here, and whispers in my ear."Kätzchen, people are starring at you like your crazy. Contain yourself for two minutes."

I couldn’t contain the blush, and I detach myself from him like he’s on fire. This is so embarrassing. I don't understand why I'm acting so weird, I only smelled the nip a little. Why is affecting me so much? Axe pulls my hand to drag me out of the store. I whine at the sudden movement, but attach myself to Axe's warmness again. Hmmmm, warmness. Axel smells so good too. Like cinnamon and, well, Axel. He has a specific scent. I like it. I sniff his arm and hum. "You smell goooooood~"

Axel laughs at me and directs me into my seat. He hands me the jar of nip. “There you go Roxy~” he kisses my forehead. My cheeks erupted red again, and I couldn’t contain the wide cheeky smile. I open the jar and sniff deeply. Hmmm, so good~. What does it taste like? So I lick it cautiously. I don't quite know what to think of it, but I do it again and shiver. The wave of pleasurable haze hits me again. I feel like im floating, floating on a cloud that smells like Axel. A Warm, fluffy cloud.  
I don’t know when we got to the house, I’m so distracted my all the colors and moving things. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something move and I pounce without first registering what I’m actually doing. My prey yelps and we fall to the ground with a thud. My tail flicks through the air and my hat falls off my head as my ears stand at attention. I caught Reno’s hand in my mouth. He has waved at us when he came out of his room. Axel laughs loudly and pulls me off his brother. "Oh my… Roxy, I think you've had too much nip."

Reno looks at us confused. All I can do is grin at them. Everything is awesome~. Right! Reno! I should say hi to Reno. Reeenooooooo. "Hi Reno! How are you! I feel warm! Hey! Did you know that Axe smells spicy? Its nice..." My words fly out of my mouth in an excited gumble. I wanna pounce on him again, but Axel’s still holding me around my waist. I whine and struggle against his grip. "Leeet goooo aaaaaxe!" I whine harder. Axel’s being no fun! I want to have fun! I’m in such a good mood! I’m never in a good mood! I wanna lay while it lasts~. Axel chuckles in my ear, low and sultry. I stop squirming as a farmiliar shiver travels down my spine. "Aaaxe! Don't doooo that, my ears are seeeensitive!" I whine yet again. He’s not playing fair! I gotta get away, maybe get more of the catnip he bought me. 

"Awww, but you're so cute! Like a kitten trying to be a tiger, ja?" He laughs hardily at me as I finally struggle away from him. Freedom! My ears twitch wildly and my tail flicks nervously. “Kätzchen, sieh mal!“ (kitty, look!) Axe held up a feather attached to a thin plastic pole, it looks like a fishing pole. Or a Cat-ing-pole. A giggle ripps through my whole body as I can’t contain how funny that sounds. Then I stop, The feather was flicked to the left, and my eyes follow its every movement. He flicked it to the right, and I pounce, barely missing as he flicked it to the left. I mewl as I grab it and start chewing on it. It tastes like nip. He dipped it in the jar. Yum~. Reno and Axel laugh, but I don’t care. This is fun~.

I don’t really know how long I did this, but im starting to regret it. The nip must be wearing off, because the ribs are hurting really badly, and I’m getting tired. It’s hard for me to regret though. It was really fun to act like a cat. IT felt right to indulge that part of my being for once. I yawn heavily. A deep, very familiar chuckle vibrates in my ear. I should be concerned that his chuckle causes me to shiver every time I hear it. I can’t bring my sleepy brain to care, as the haze is dissolving and the pain slowly replaces it. It sounds so rich and inviting. I slowly crawl over to him on the sofa. He chuckles and pet's my hair. I make a soft noise and curl closer to him. This is where I always want to be.

"Ok, want to take my bed?" Axe asks softly, petting hair hair soothingly. Mmmm, I’m going to fall asleep right here if he doesn’t stop. Not that I would mind that, at all. I nod, and look up at you, blushing. "Can you stay with me? I...get nightmares..." Axel’s looks at me with pity, then he turns it into a small smile. He rubs my ear and I blush darkly. Mmmmm~ Heaven. 

"Alright Rox, let's go to bed." His smile is as warm as his fingers. His fingers move to the base of my ear. Oooohhh, that makes my body tingle. I feel too hot and I start to squirm in his lap. I almost miss the curious evil look in his eye as he rubs the base of my ear. Ohhh~ Yes right there~. I moan softly and look into his eyes, silently begging for more. This is dangerous, we should stop before I can’t stop myself from attacking his mouth. 

"Axe...s-stop..." My voice is weak, I don’t really want him to stop. I’m just afraid of what will come if he doesn’t. I lick my lips as I watch Axel’s smirk widen. They’re so thin, and smooth looking. All I’d have to do is lean over to kiss him. It would only take a second. Then the fingers were no longer rubbing, and I whine and lean into his chest. I regret, so much, asking him to stop. 

"Come on to bed Rox, let's go get you some pj's." Axel walks me to his room and gives me one of his shirts. Mmm, I get to wear his shit to bed. 

“Thank’s Axe” I smile at him and go change in the bathroom and brush my teeth. As soon as I enter, I see myself in the mirror for the first time since this morning. There’s a large bruise covering my eye and cheek. Ipoke it softly. It’s so dark and ugly; and with the added pressure from my fingers, it stings like the dickens. I’m afraid to see my chest. It started throbbing again once the Nip started to wear off. Holding my breath, I lift the shirt to reveal a dark bruise marring my pale skin. With a wine I shive the shit off, and change into the one Age gave me. Brushing my teeth as quickly as possible, refusing to look at my refection again. How could Axe stand to look at my ugly ass face? Especially with the bruise covering it. I walk out and walk into Axel's room. 

"Axe...I...It… It hurts" I whisper, almost wishing he didn’t hear me. I don’t know what he’s supposed to do about it, but telling him feels right. I bite my lip and look up at him, and it makes me drop my jaw. He's only wearing low riding basketball shorts. He’s got to be teasing me on pourpose. He’s been doing it since we got to his house. I can’t even stop staring, and I know im blushing like crazy. He leans down to inspect my face and he sighed. "It looks like it hurts Rox...” His face crunches up into an angry expression, “I can't believe that you never told me...and that I just noti-" I put my hand over his mouth, and look into his eyes.

"Axe, it's not your fault. I tried really, really hard to keep it from everyone...I don't like being hit...I don't like that my dad hates me...I don't like that I have to hide things...or that I'm a freak. " Here come the fucking tears again, but I can’t help but be upset and frustrated. “So please don't blame yourself...it's not your fault...if it's anyone's fault...it's mine. I was born wrong..." My voice squeaks with a sob at the last bit. I am a freak. Axel growls and rips my hand from his mouth. My body trembles, and waits for the slap, or punch. Something, I just know it’s going to hurt.

"Don't ever say that again! You weren’t born wrong! You are not a freak! It's not your fault! Don't you ever think it's your fault! " He took a deep breath, and the scary glint in his eye slips away in favor of a sad one."Your amazing Roxy, really. Let's just sleep ok? You need to rest."

With a sigh I curl up in bed with Axel. He got in on one side and I got in on the other. I lay in Axel's spicy smelling bed, staring at his ceiling. I can't sleep because he's next to me.I can’t sleep because there are so many thoughts running through my head. Axel has been helpful through this. This whole ordeal, with my father, and the hospital. But I still don't know what to do. How do I so-

"Roxy, go to sleep. You can think about it in the morning. We can help more in the morning. So just sleep, ok?" Axel reaches over and rubs my ear. I yawn and nod, scooting closer to the spicy heat that was Axel. If I’m lucky he’ll hold me. I really want someone to hold me. He grants my silent wish and wraps his free arm around my waist, tugging my close,and rubs my ear, in the special way that makes me sleepy. Soon, I’m falling asleep, cuddled next to Axel. He rubs my ear the entire time I was falling asleep. This is a really good end, to a terrible day.


	4. Don't Touch Me

Mmm…bacon…food…. Stomach might stop growling if I can find that smell. My mouth is watering, I want whatever that smell is. My eyes flutter open and I sit up. Axel’s not here. Where’d he go? I wish he would have waited for me to wake up. Then tell me morning, and how he loves me. Possibly that he wants me to move in here, and never go home. Maybe kiss me till I can’t breathe. I sigh and get up, my ears low on my head and my tail flicking about cautiously. The delicious sizzle and savory smell gets stronger when I open the door. Someone’s obviously cooking, and my stomach is throwing a tantrum from barely eating yesterday. With a soft hum, I saunter out of the room and down the hall. My ribs hurt, but I’ll be okay. No need to worry Axe and Reno. I peek out from behind the corner, blushing softly. Axel and Reno are fixing up a lot of food, both wearing stupid looking frilly aprons. Mmm, Axel is still only wearing his red basketball shorts. Good god, is he toned. My stomach rumbles loudly and they both turn and look at me. Reno smiles wide, laughing softly and continues with his cooking. Axel, who has flower on his cheek, grins and walks over to me. "Morning Roxas, how ya feelin'?"

With a smile I wipe the flour off his cheek, "I feel better. My chest still hurts when I move, but its better." Axel nods and ruffles my hair a bit. I nuzzle into his hand, and my stomach growls again. Apparently it refuses to be ignored.  
"Well, since we forgot about dinner last night, were eating a big breakfast. We’re making German style pancakes." My whole face lights up. I love how Axe and Re make their pancakes. They put potatoes and beef and cheese. It's the best way to wake up. I lick my lips humming. Axel laughs at me and tells me to sit at the table. I do as I'm told with a wag of my tail, my ears twitching excitedly. I’m feeding you, you monster I call a stomach, you can stop growling at me now.

Axe soon walks over with a big plate of bacon and 3 pancakes and 2 eggs on it. "Here Roxy, want some orange juice too?" With a blush, I nod. He goes to get my juice, and I can’t help but stare at his ass as he walks away. Reno sits next to me with a chuckle, setting his own plate down. 

"How ya feelin' Kätzchen?" He smiles warmly. I feel great, actually. I assume my huge ass smile, and my playfully swaying tail are a good indication to my mood. 

"I'm good; the food smells amazing as usual Re." I dig into a pancake just as axe walks through the door. The taste is toe curling-ly, mind-blowingly yummy. I need to bother these two to cook for me more often. Axel huffs, shit he sounds irritated. I stop cold and stare at him wide eyed. What did I do this time? He’s smirking at me jokingly. The tension in my shoulders release, and my tail sways again.

“Thanks for waiting for me Roxy, so nice." I giggle mischievously at him. Wait fuck, men don’t giggle, the blush creeped up on my face faster than I could think to stop it. My life is just a string of embarrassing moments, mixed with a lot of pain, and just a sprinkle of pleasure. "Manly Rox, very manly. Meinst du, Reno?" (You think, Reno?) That’s not helping Axel, teasing me like that. Oh god, I wanna burry myself in the back yard. Reno laughs softly and nod, his mouth full of pancake. I’m just going to sit here and pout, because I KNOW they’re talking about me. I just can’t understand them anymore. 

"Ja , er ist der männlichste , was ich je gesehen habe. "(yes, he is the manliest thing I have ever seen.) I glare at Reno, hoping he could feel the heat off my soul. If only I could understand them, maybe they would stop talking about me, in front of me, like I wasn’t in the damn room. Hey….Wait! I grin at Axel, this is the best idea ever.

"Hey! Axel! Can you teach me German?" I ask excitedly. He looks at me confused. Nevermind, this is the most stupid idea I could have come up with. He’s not a teacher, he just knows how to speak it. I blush all over again and my ears drop to my head, wanting to be smaller. "What? I want to be able to understand when you two talk..."

Axel grins and nods, "Alright Rox, but Reno’s really way better than me. He’s the one who taught me to speak when I was a kid. "My ears instantly perk up with a wide grin on my face. This is gonna be fun! I get to spend more time with Axel. Maybe dad would approve of me learning something like a language. I stuff my face with delicious food. My grin won’t go away, and my cheeks are starting to hurt. Axel sits down with us and reaches over to ruffle my hair. "You look almost too happy to learn German."

I blush and bite my lip. "But it sounds so cool...and I'm sick of listening you two talk about my like I’m not sitting right there..." I glare at them both, knowingly as I munch on my food. Axel and Reno laugh hard. I pick at my food with a pout.

Reno looks at Axel and grinned. " er ist so süß , ich will ihn nicht zurückgeben ... können wir ihn behalten? als Haustier ? "(he is so cute, I don't want to bring him home...can we keep him? As a pet?) Reno asks with a wide grin. I frown at them and finish my food. I’m still hungry…. Axel hasn’t touched his food.

Axel laughs and shakes his head. "Nein Reno, wir können ihn nicht halten, er ist kein Haustier. Roxy ist er, kommt er sowieso auf." (no Reno, we can't keep him, he's not a pet. he's Roxy, he comes back anyway.) Now they’re both laughing. But what sucks for them, is I’ve started to grab food off their plates. One of Axel’s eggs, half of Reno’s bacon. Mine now. Sucks for those ass hats. My pout is starting to hurt, my ears are folded against my head and my tail is on the floor. I’m not happy, but at least I have food. They’re doing it on purpose now, like kids who made a written language to pass notes in class with. I feel out of the loop.

Axel reaches over and ruffles my hair and whispers in my ear "I'll teach you Käzchen, don't worry." I look at him to study the sincerity of his features. He’s gazing into my eyes with his beautiful green ones. His face is relaxed and handsome. I still don’t trust it, he’s probably just teasing, but what could asking hurt?

"Really?" I fidget in my seat, biting my lip. His smiles grows as he nods.

"Wirklich, Roxy."(really, Roxy) What? He was just teasing me again. I just stare at him, waiting for him to clarify. "I said really Roxy. First lesson and you blew it." I did? I didn’t even know he was teaching me something. My ears fold against my head. I’m an idiot. He looks like he’s reconsidering his earlier statement. "Maybe you're unteachable, and I shouldn't even try...humm." Tears well in my eyes, and my tail wraps around my waist. It’s true, I'm unteachable. I shouldn't waste Axel's time. I look down at my plate to nibble on the stolen bacon. I’m not really hungry anymore, but I don't want to waste the food they took time to make. I feel the tears fall down my cheeks and Reno shouts, making me jump.

"Axel! doch nicht so scherzen ! Roxas doesn't think your joking!" (Don't joke like that!) Reno hit Axel upside his head with a scowl. Axel grunts and mumbles something. Then his fingers are rubbing my ear softly. I look up at him, tears still in my eyes.

"Roxy," he whispers, "I'm kidding, I'm really going to teach you. I promise. I'll teach you afterschool and on weekends." I don't believe him. I shake my head and keep my mouth full of the now tasteless bacon. "I'm sorry Roxas, I was just kidding..." He rubs a different spot. I don’t really feel it. I can feel myself shutting off, locking myself in the place I go when dad hurts me. I don't want to feel the new hurt in my chest.

Reno sighs and says something to Axel that made him stop rubbing my ear. I’m grateful I don’t want anyone to touch me. But what I want doesn’t matter. My whole life is basically to serve others. My own wants don't matter. I'm a freak, so I have to work hard for the affections of others. I can't afford to lose the two people outside my family that have accepted me.

I finish my plate of food long after everyone else. Axel is sitting with me, trying to get me to talk. I don't want to, but he might stop talking to me if I keep ignoring him. I really do like his voice, and his company, so I speak up. Just to keep him talking. "Its ok axe, it's true, I'm an airhead. There is no point in trying."

"That's not true Roxas. You're smarter than me. I don't know anyone smarter, well, besides Zexion, but he's a weirdo who eats knowledge for food..." he trails off. I can’t help but giggle softly at that. I know Zexion, a little, and he always has a book in his hand. He is very smart. Axel grins. "There’s my Roxy. I love when you laugh." I blush dark, biting my lip. "You’re cute."

"I'm not cute..." I grumble, pouting at Axel. He’s looking back at me, amused, with a grin. I shake my head to accentuate my statement. I’m so far from cute.

"You so are, and have I ever told you I love cats? Especially their ears." He rubs my ear. A wave of pleasure washes away the cold. I close my eyes, purring softly. These fingers are magic. "And how loving they can be to the person they choose is their favorite? It's cute." I blush anew and my eyes go wide. Did he know that I loved him? Did he figure it out? I tried so hard to hide it. I guess I've been slipping lately. He chuckles low in his throat and leaned close. 

"Your cute Rox, don't deny it." I look into his eyes and they have a mischievous glint in them. He moved the spot he was rubbing. O-Oh fuck, not there. Heat spreads over my body. I mewl and grip the chair tight. "I like how they react to certain things. They're more loyal then dogs at times. And they curl up close when your sleeping, asking everything warm." He continues to rub that spot faster. I can’t take it. It’s too hot, and I can clearly feel myself getting hard. I try to hide it with axel’s t-shirt. Fucking hell why did I only wear a t-shirt and boxers to bed? Stupid, so stupid.

"A-axel...stop...please..." I pant and mewl. This is bad, why was that spot even there? I never knew my ears were this sensitive. Axel has such warm hands, it makes me so hot. I pant harshly when he speeds up his fingers.

"Am I your favorite person Kätzchen?” He whispers in my ear and chuckles. He needs to move away and stop, or im going to cum in my boxers. I bite my lip hard and grip the chair harder, right between my legs. Oh god, why now of all times to have a problem like this.  
" You're my favorite person." He grins at me. "I wonder what would happen if I rub your tail..." he reaches over. OH fuck no! No no no, He cannot do that. I hiss and fell over, blushing darkly. That god Axel’s torso is so much longer than mine, otherwise he’d definitely be able to see.

"S-stop! I don't want to be played with! I'm not a t-toy!" I whimper and try to breathe. The fall knocks the air out of my lungs, making my chest burn from lack of oxygen, and sting because of my broken rib. Not to mention the searing heat pulsing, racing through my veins. It's disorienting and dizzying. I'm scared.

Axel kneels next to me, cupping my cheek. Those eyes, they’re so full of worry. I can’t stop the tears from welling in my eyes from the pain. “I'm sorry Rox! I was trying to cheer you up! I didn't mean to make you feel bad! Oh god...are you hurt?” He helps me sit up. I gasp sharply at the feeling of my muscles above rib shifting. Oh god it hurt. I whimper and bite my lip. Axel put his palm over it and the warmth of his hand slowly starts to numb the pain. "I'm sorry Rox..."

I shake my head, blushing darkly, as I clutch his shirt. "You are...my..my favorite Axe..." That sounds so fucking corny, and weird, but he’s the one who brought it up. It’s true too, Axel is my favorite. I guess since my other secrets are out to him, I may as well as tell him how much he means to me, right? I feel my insides twist, I’m so damn nervous. I don’t even know why, ‘cause I’m sure Axel was just telling me he liked me too. Axel grins wide and pets my hair. He picks me up, careful of my chest, and he sits me on his lap on the sofa. Then he continues running his fingers through my hair.

"Really?" He says smoothly and I nod. "Well, that's good, because I would be sad if I wasn't your favorite.” he kisses my cheek. He kissed me! On my cheek...but still! His lips touched me! God, they're warmer than his hands. My cheeks warm up and smile wide. This is probably just a dream, but that’s okay. I like it. 

"Axe...how are you so warm...all the time?" I grab his hand and put it to my cheek, nuzzling it and purring softly. 

He chuckles, "I'm magic." He whispers in my ear.

I shake my head, "no, really, do you like...sit in the sun before you touch me? Because you’re always so warm...maybe I'm just cold..." I mumble into his hand. 

"No, I just have an abnormally high body temperature.” He smiles as I continue to nuzzle his hand. "Do you just like me for the heat?" I grin, looking up at him, and nod. His face pulls into a mock hurt expression. "Ouch Rox, here I thought you liked me, for me. That's cold."

I giggle and shake my head. "Nope~ I just like this warmth~ like my own personal heater." I snuggle into his chest, hugging him. He feels good to hug, he's all muscle and strong. The warmth of his body is soothing the pain to a dull ache. He pets my hair and laughs. With a yawn, I mumble "It makes me sleepy..." He chuckles at my statement and hums low in his throat.

"You're cute Kätzchen." He says softly. I pout at him. I'm hot cute, boys aren't cute. I can’t even say anything because arguing with axel is futile. I just nuzzle his chest again. His chest rumbles as he speaks again, "What do you wanna do you wanna do Roxy?"

"Relax...can we go get ice-cream?" I look up him with big, pleading eyes. I know you can’t resist this. Not this time. Mainly ‘cause I know Axel is always down for Ice cream. He stares at me sternly before sighing and nodding.

"Of course Roxy, let's go get sea salt and hang out on the clock tower." He says with a smile. I grin and nod, my tail swishing happily, nuzzling his neck in a tight hug. Fucking rib be damned, Axel is the best!

"Yes please!" I get off him and grin. He shifts uncomfortably. "Come on Axe! You promised~ you need to suck it up and treat me to some ice cream!" I whined and leaned over him, our noses touching. We’re so close we could kiss for real. "please?" 

His cheeks flare up and he licks his lips. Reno calls for Axel from his room, and I hear his door opening. Shit, this would look weird if we were caught like this. I yelp and jump in surprise. Of course I just lost my balance. Of course when I reach out to steady myself, my hand cups his cock. Oh my god, h-he’s hard. So hard, and big. I didn’t think he was this big. There isn’t even much fabric between his dick, and my hand. I’m so glad my face landed in the crook of his shoulder, I don’t think I could survive this awkward moment if I could see his face. Especially because I’m enjoying the tiny gasps and moans coming from his mouth.

"Rox...off now...give me a couple, um... minutes to get dressed...and uh…shower." His breath is labored and he’s swallowing a lot. I want to bite his neck, just to see how he would react. He seems to like me rubbing him through his basketball shorts. 

"Whoa there you two! Was zum Teufel macht ihr? Dies ist eine unangemessene Aktivität für mein Sofa! Geh, dass du in Ihrem Zimmer! Roxy korrumpieren , wenn er krank und verletzt, tsk tsk Axel. Bad Boy. "(what the hell are you two doing? This is an inappropriate activity on my sofa! go do that in your room! Corrupting Roxy when he’s sick and hurt, tsk, tsk, axel. bad boy.) He scolds in a mocking tone. Axel promptly stands up, causing me to yelp as I fall to the ground. Ow…fuck…. I-It’s hard to breathe again. Axe apparently sucks at taking care of hurt people. He doesn't even stop, or turn back. He slams his room door shut. 

Reno bursts out laughing, making me choke out a yelp. I’m so on edge, one minute I’m relaxing on the sofa with Axel, the next on freaking out over something, or he’s knocking me on my ass. "I didn't think he'd ever get the courage to do that! He's been after you since...forever!" 

"What do you mean...been after me? I was just teasing him to get back at him for yesterday..." My blush darkens as my voice trails off. That sounds so dirty, but I didn’t intend to give him an impromptu half handjob. Reno chuckles again and shakes his head.

"I’m sure you’ll catch on soon Rox. I’m sure it’s the same for you. I’ve been waiting to see you two together for so long.” Reno grins wide. Fuck, he’s known about my crush on Axel. Why do I feel like everyone knows about that? 

Soon axel comes out of his room, blushing darkly and wearing new cloths. He grins at me, looking me over like I’m something tasty. "Who knew our little Kätzchen was so naughty?" Oh boy, the floor is so interesting. You know, it can’t stare into your soul the way Axel’s jade colored eyes do. Should I feel ashamed that I enjoyed it? I don’t think he meant for me to think that way, but I can’t help but feel my ears heat up. I wish he would stop teasing me. Weren’t we going to go get ice cream?

"Shut up and let's go get some ice cream..." I mumble shifting between my feet nervously, still staring at the floor.  
“Sure Rox, I’ll wait here, go get dressed. I set out some clothes for you.” Axel’s voice is smooth, and deep. Swiftly I go to his room, throw off the shirt, and pull on the clothes he set out for me. Of course they barely fit. I have to use the last notch on Axe’s belt, and the damn jeans still barely cling to my waist. I also have to roll up the sleeves. The shirt goes to my mid-thigh. I look ridiculous, but everything smells like Axel. I tuck my tail in the pants then go out to the living room.

Axel walks over and puts my hat on my head. I feel like a toddler. I also just want to kiss Axel for real, and get over this nervous tension. This is so embarrassing, having the love of your life's brother, someone who looks after you like a brother, catching you being naughty with his real little brother. The being teased about it by the object of your affections. Then having to get dressed in a giant’s clothes so you literally look like a toddler. Axel smiles and grabs his keys. “Come on Rox, I did promise.” He wraps his arm around my waist to walk me out of the house. I can easily get used to this affection, but while Axel had the opportunity to deal with his boner, I have not. I’m really happy that these clothes are huge, cause it hides my hard on easily. Maybe Axel will hold me like this more often? Maybe Ice cream trips could be dates? Maybe. It’s a nice thought, but I’m sure that’s all it is. A thought.


	5. The Oddest Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUTT ALERT PEOPLE

Axel walks me to his car, only letting go of me when we go to get in on our respective sides. I love Axel's car, it’s a cool lime green ford fusion, with a manual transmission, which is really cool. It took him a whole year of saving to get a good down payment. Not that Reno wouldn't have paid for him. Reno’s loaded because of his job and family inheritance. Axe refused to take any money from his brother. So he got his job at the music shop downtown and saved up. It made him seem very, I don't know, I just love him more for it. Plus he gets me discounts on CD’s, and I always get a new one for my birthday or Christmas from him. So whenever I sit in it, I remember how hard he worked, and how much he cares about it. 

"We haven't gone for ice cream in a while, have we?" He grins as he reaches over and rubs my ear through my hat. A happy sigh slips though my lips and red spreads across my cheeks at the delicious feeling. 

"No, we haven't. But you were busy with the car saving." I smile up at him, studying his face. His lips are quirked up with a small smirk. His cheeks are sporting a bit of red stubble. That’s kinda hot, I really wanna run my fingers over his chin. Maybe run a trail of kisses over his jaw. I shift my hips to relieve the pressure that’s on my still hard dick. This fucking sucks. How can I get rid of this problem, when the object of my fantasy’s is sitting right here?

 

"Yeah, that was hell." Axel’s voice snaps be back to reality. He chuckles and turns the car on and drives toward downtown. 

"You didn't have to do that you know. Reno wanted to pay for your car." I say with a shake of my head. He chuckles again and pulls onto the street and rolls down the windows.

"Yeah, but I wanted it to be my car, not something Reno could hold over my head. He's going to be paying for my collage. No need for him to buy me a car." He shrugs, "plus, I like the music shop, Demyx is hilarious."

Demyx is one of Axel's new friends from the shop. He’s really funny, hyper, and outgoing. I am really jealous of him, actually. He gets to spend a lot more time with Axel than I do, and I wish he I had his personality. He reminds me of Sora because he always glomps me to the ground when I show up. I like his boyfriend, Zexion, too. He’s quiet and smart, and so funny at the best times. I wish we could hang out more. Maybe actually be friends, instead of just talking when we see each other at the shop. "Yeah, he's cool."

Axel pulls in front of the ice-cream shop and kills the engine. "Yeah, let's go get your ice-cream Kätzchen." I grin wide and fly out of the car, ignoring the stab of pain the sudden movement causes. I love sea salt ice cream, and nothing will keep me from it. Racing to the door and shifting impatiently as I hold it open for Axel. He’s being so slow. Sea salt ice-cream is the best flavor. Axe was the first one to show me it. Actually, I think that’s how we met. 

~Flashback~

I stand in line holding the money mom gave me for the ice cream. There is a big grin on my face as I shift my weight between my feet. I love Ice cream. It’s so cool and creamy, but mom rarely lets me get some. But since today is my birthday, she said I could have anything I wanted. Sora got a new scooter, but I wanted ice-cream. Mom even let me buy it myself. She sat at the table as she watched me wait in line to order. I’ve never ordered for myself before. The tall red head was the only person in front of me, just a few more minutes before I can have my frozen treat. When he finishes his order, I look over all of the choices. But what to choose? There are so many! 

“Hey, don’t know what flavor you want?” A voice to my right says, and I whip my head around to see the red head grinning at me. His thin green eyes shining invitingly. His grin is infectious, and I nod. “Why don’t you try sea salt flavor? It’s the blue one, and Its also my favorite.”

I buy my ice cream, a single scoop with a waffle bowl. Then I turn to the red head with a smile. “Thank you… ah… “

“Axel, My name’s Axel, Got it memorized?” He grins wide, and I giggle. He’s so funny!

“Nice to meet you Axel, I’m Roxas!” He chuckles, I must be smiling really big. Sora says I look funny when I smile too wide, but I can’t help it! I’ve met someone else who likes Ice cream! And I’m going to try a new flavor!

~End Flashback~

"Cooome ooon Axel~" I whine. I should just leave him out here. He laughs and walks deliberately slow from the car to the door. Rude! I want my ice-cream now! "Please!" I pout at him.

He laughs, "Fine, fine." He walks at his normal stride into the parlor and I follow happily. Axel looks at me. "You’re odd Roxy." He chuckles and pulls me into the line, and into his arms. I nuzzle into his side with a giggle.

"But its sea salt!" I purr and look up at him. He is grinning at me, his green eyes shining mischievously. I blush and look away. He laughs and steps up to the counter and orders a thing of 12 homemade seasalt popsicles. 

He pays for it and I take the case and I hold it tight to my chest. I purr and try to ignore the odd looks I’m getting. I ant let other people ruin this time with Axe. My redheaded friend pulls me to the car and I hum at him happily. He laughs and ruffles my hat so it falls off my head. I hiss at him, glaring, my ears tucked next to my head. "Don’t do that Axel!” I hiss at him again, frantically looking around my feet. As soon as I see it, I grab it and my ears spring upright in my triumph. "Ah-ah!"

"Come on Rox, let’s get going.” Axel says as he sits behind the wheel of his car and startis the engine. I follow his lead as I shove my hat on my head. He pulls out of the parking space and starts toward our ice cream spot. Ice cream, yummy, delicious treat of the gods! I feel my chest rumble softly with a purr.

"Your acting cute again Rox, calm down. It’s hard to concentrate on the road and not you." He laughs at me and I whine.

"I haven't had sea salt ice cream since...last year..." I look out the window, the farmiliar feeling of loneliness filling my chest. The last year was lonely, because Axel was working for his car, and couldn't hang out. I only saw him at school. I only eat sea salt with Axel, because it’s our thing. It feels wrong to enjoy it without him there.

Axel sighs sadly, making me look over at him, "I'm sorry, I haven't really eaten ice cream since I started working either. Does that make you feel better?" Yes, but I don’t want him to know that, so I answer with a passe shrug.

"No, but were having ice cream now, so it’s ok." I blush darkly, directing my embarrassment to the road. I wonder if he remembers me calling him my favorite. I remember him calling me his. What does that mean, anyway? I steal a glance at him as he's concentrating on the road. His hair is shifting in the wind from the open windows. His pale skin looks smooth and inviting in the light, except for that attractive bit of stubble on his cheeks. If only I had the courage to run my fingers over his jaw. Kiss his lips? Those soft looking lips. Axel looks at me with a quirk of his eyebrow. Shit, I’ve been staring, again. I whip my head back to the window, trying hard to hide the blush that’s warming my ears. He chuckles low in his throat, and the sound sets butterflies loose in my stomach. How can he make such a simple sound, sound so sexy? He pulls into a space and turns off the car, cupping my cheek and turning my head to look at him. His green eyes shining like the most beautiful jade jewels. I feel like I’m going to get lost in those eyes. I don’t think I care either.

"Komm Kätzchen, let's go eat our ice cream." His voice is arguably intentionally deep and sultry, causing a shiver to bounce from the tips of my ears and spread to the tip of my tail and toes. My ears twitch, feeling my arousal begin to coil in my abdomen again, and I nod. 

"Yeah!" I get out excitedly and wait impatiently for my crush, best friend, and favorite. His hand was so warm, I still feel a burning there. It’s pleasant, but teasing. I want to feel more of his heat. I hold the pops close to my chest to try to cool down a bit, as my ears twitch in excitement. 

Axel chuckles and says as he walks behind me. "Don't cling to them like that, or they'll melt." He grins and opens the door to the tower for me. I quickly rush in, and hold the box of pops a little farther from my body to not melt our treats. It’s illegal to be in here, Reno snuck Axel the key one day, and said as long as we don’t ruin anything and we don’t get caught, he doesn’t care. But this is our spot, it’s always been our spot. We used to just break in before Reno gave us the key. Axel shut the door and we begin the accent to the top. It only takes a few minutes ‘cause I can’t help but run up the stairs. Axel opens the door to the ledge overlooking town. I run over to the edge and grin. This place always makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. Axel whistles and he walked over to me, taking off my hat and petting my hair. My heart flutters and I open the box and take one out.

"Here axe," I hand the sea salt ice cream to him, smiling brightly as he took it. 

"Danke Roxy," Axe grins at me, speaking my nickname in his sexy heavy German accent. I shiver and blush, taking a treat for myself. I shove it in my mouth before I say something embarrassing. Axel sits on the edge of the tower ledge, motioning for me to sit with him. I do, and intentionally sit extra close to him. I've made up my mind. I need him to know I love him. I want to know if he’s just teasing, or if he’s just been holding himself back from something more. Good thing it's only 1 in the afternoon, I have a lot of time to figure out how to word everything. I run my own fingers though my hair, and shift my pants to my tail can sway freely through the air. I hum as I swish it out a bit. It’s incredibly cramped in those pants. "Hey Rox, do you remember when I first found out about your being half cat?"

I blush and nod, how could I forget? That had been terribly embarrassing. "I was 10, and you had come to my house, not that I knew. Mom let you go up to my room and I was..." I blush darkly, shoving the ice cream in my mouth again.

"Playing with a ball of yarn" he chuckles, "it was adorable, and it freaked me out." He laughs. A sharp pang hits my heart. Did he have to say freak? I hate that word more than anything. I look away and he chuckles again. His chuckle stops short and turns my head to face him. I wish he didn’t, cause I feel tears pricking my eyes. 

"Rox, I didn't mean anything by it. It was a shock to see my best friend on the floor, tangled in yarn and cat ears and tail flicking about. It was the cutest thing I've seen." Axel says with a deep voice, looking me in the eyes. I feel the tention fade from my chest at his words. I look closer in his eyes, and there’s an emotion there, something I haven’t seen before. The look in his eyes is, hungry? Yet he looks like he's contemplating something. "Rox, I have something...something that I need to tell you."

My ears twitch up at his tone of voice. I furrow my eyebrows and my ears flatten against my head. The tone in his voice is forboding. "What is it Axe?" My voice wavers a bit, and I curl my tail around my waist. The more I look in his eyes, the more I notice the hungry, needy, frustrated look in his eyes. The look is interesting, but not fitting. It’s always been hard for me to read his mind.

"Roxas...I…” He breathes deep and opens and closes his mouth for a minute. I’ve never seen Axel at such a loss for words. I watch him silently, waiting for him to talk. No need to force him to talk. Then, he leans forward and captures my lips in a hungry, but sweet kiss. I freeze and drop my sea salt ice-pop. My heart is hammering in my head. Could he read my mind? Was he just playing with me? I don’t think I care, because If he is playing with me, I’ll never get another chance to kiss him. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing back firmly. After a minute of slow brushing of lips and fingers in hair, I pull away just enough to speak.

"Axe..." I purr, "When I said...you were my favorite...I meant it." I blush and stare into his eyes again. Trying to convey the feelings in my heart that I’ve been too scared to speak aloud. The new look in his eyes makes my blush darken as my heart pounds faster. He knows, he understands. 

"Ich leibe dich, Roxy." He grinned, my breath hitches in my throat. "You understand that don't you?" I nod slowly and bite my lip as I lean close. That fucking way he says my name in German. I feel too hot, and bothered. Maybe Axel will fix the blue balls he’s been giving me all morning? Oh what a lucky kitten I’d be. 

I purr in his ear, "Ich leibe dich, too axel. I’ve loved you for a really long time." My voice was low and sultry. I want him to touch me, rub my ears and make me squirm like earlier. It’s an addictive feeling, being under Axe’s fingers. 

"Axe...can...can you..." I grab his hand to put it on my head, nuzzling into his palm with a purr. "My ears...I like the way you were rubbing them earlier." My tail flicks behind me and I shiver. The stare he’s giving me was driving me crazy. Axe leans down and captures my lips again, softly. I kiss back, trying to show him what his teasing has been doing to me all fucking morning. After a few seconds of the touch of lips, his fingers begin to rub my ear. 

My breath hitches in my throat with a squeak. Magic fingers. Warm lips. All of this heat is going straight to my crotch, and this is getting really painful. He chuckles deep in his chest, and licks my lips. I open my mouth immediately, wanting to play with his tongue. I want to feel every part of Axel. His touch makes shiver violently, arching up into his chest. His fingers rub harder and I moan loudly, unashamed. This is axel, my best friend. More importantly, this is the man I fell in love with several times over. He’s been the object of my desire for as long as I can remember. His kisses become more desperate and hungry, pulling me on his lap. I whimper and pull away to talk, but clutch the back on his shirt, scared. "Axe! Were on the tower! What if I fall?" I bite my lip, as he chuckles at me. 

"I won’t let you Kätzchen. I will hold you tight.” He whispers hotly in my ear, I can hear the damn grin on his lips. “If I stop now, what are you going to do about this?" He trails a finger over the slight bulge on my pants. Oh god, the heat from his finger permeated through my jeans and I moan. The heat flashes through my body and I purr.

"Don’t you dare stop. F-Fix it…Fix it for me?" I’m panting like a dog in anticipation of his next move. Axel chuckles again and leans down to kiss and bite my neck. Oh, that feels, hmmm. More moans flow out of my mouth. He unbuttons my pants and pulls my erection free. God, it’s somehow not embarrassing that we're in public, no. He's staring at me. His eyes are on my most intimate part, licking his lips, looking over me like he’s going to devour me. It drives my heart to beat faster. I moan as he grips me tight, running his thumb over the tip teasingly. 

"Poor Roxy, so neglected. How long have you wished for me to do this?" His is husky and another shiver shot up and down my spine. Gods, I could almost cum from just his voice. That wouldn’t be as fun though. 

"S-since...m-middle...school..." I pant as he strokes slowly. I let loose a low, slow moan. His other hand roams around to my back and my eyes shoot open, digging my nails into his shoulders. He grips the base of my tail and rubs. "A-ah! Axe, not there...I...I...can't take it, not there." He laughs and shakes his head.

"No, you want me to fix your problem, so I'm going to do as I please." I close my eyes and bite my lip hard. I- oh god, how do I even move? "It’s cute, you’re so sensitive, Kätzchen." He rubs the tip of my cock. The moan flies out of my mouth before I can stop it. Fuck, this feels so good. So good. 

"So vocal, who knew Roxy could be so naughty. Not even bothering to keep quiet while we’re outside." He laughs and let’s go of me completely. No! What’s wrong? I open my eyes enough to see his devilish grin, and whine. "Off Roxy, I think I'd like to tease you like you've done to me today." My heart hammers in my chest and I get off him as quick as I could, standing in front of him shyly. Whatever he has planned is bound to drive me insane. I want to lose touch with reality at the hands of my redheaded crush.

"Hold onto the ledge Kätzchen" I hesitate for a second before leaning over the ledge and holding onto the ledge tight. He pulls my pants down and spreads my legs wide. I shiver at the cold air on my skin. I sway my tail seductively in his face. He chuckles. "Why do you like this ice cream so much, huh Rox?" He grabs a new Popsicle from the forgotten box beside me.

"I...I like it ‘cause it reminds me of you." My voice wavers a bit, nervous and excited for whatever Axe has planned. Axel grabs one of my ass cheeks and pulls it to the side. His fingers are so warm, if only he’s move his fingers just ever so slightly to truly touch me. Hopefully a moan will encourage him to continue. He chuckles and I let myself shiver more visibly, and I squirm in anticipation. I want this so fucking badly. Does he have to tease like this? "Axe?" He shushes me, and I obey. 

"Just feel Roxy, I'm gonna make you feel good." He whispers low in his throat, and he runs the cold treat over my ass cheek. C-cold, but so good. I moan again, and purr appreciatively. I arch my back to give axe a better view, swaying my hips in the hopes he’ll touch were I want. The sensible part of my brain tells me this is too soon. My heart tells me it’s perfect. It’s Axel, my Axel. Nothing could be more right in this moment. He chuckles and slowly probs my hole with the frozen treat. Ah, fuck! The chill makes me shiver violently. Groaning softly, watching the unsuspecting people below us. I feel my cock twitch watching them as Axel does lewd things with my body.

"Mmm, Rox, you look delectable bent over like this." He hums as he slowly starts to sheath the treat within me. C-cold, why does this feel so fucking good when it’s so damn cold. With a loud moan I throw my head back. Maybe this is a dream? My body is tingling from the cold. My eyes shut on their own and my ears flick and twitch. The pleasure sending shock waves through my core to the very tips of my ears and tail.

"Axe~" I moan lewdly and reach back to spread my other ass cheek. I have touched myself so many times, imagining it was Axel. This is just so much better than my fingers, all alone in my room. If this is a dream, I hope I’m not ever going to wake up. Axel groans and pushes the ice cream deeper into me. The treat is rapidly melting down my thighs and making my knees shake more from the cold. "More," I moan loudly, shamelessly. This is probably a dream, only in my crazy mind could I think of Axel fucking me with my favorite treat, right?

"Rox, eine solche kleine Schlampe , nicht wahr? "(Rox, such a little slut, aren't you?) Axel hums low in his throat. I moan at the sound of his voice, speaking his native lounge. Oh gods does he know what he does to me? He pulls the treat out and back in slowly, tantalizingly. He better stop teasing, I can’t take it much longer. My heart is going to explode. I grip my ass tighter, whimpering.

"Axel~ " Maybe I can just, touch myself. I reach for my own hard on and stroke slowly in time with his teasing. The throbbing making my head swim and my knees wobble. Axel stops his slow thrusts to grab my wrist and lean over me as he places my hand back on the ledge. I feel his on hard on pressing against my ass. My heart thumps out of beat for a second. He has me in the palm of his hand, almost literally, and I am happily helpless to this.

"Nu-uh, Roxy, I want to make you cum, you are not allowed to touch yourself." He whispers hotly into my ear. I moan loudly in response and buck my hips back into his hips, the Popsicle pushing off his thigh to bury itself in me more. Gods, it’s so deep.

"Axe, please!" My voice is high pitched and breathy as I look back at him, my ears fold low on my head. His cheeks are flushed and his green, green eyes shine in the lowering sun. It makes my arousal throb again. Axel seems to get the hint and took hold of the treat again, pulling it out almost all the way. I have to grip the ledge harder just so I won’t fall.

"As you wish Roxas," He pulls the treat out of me and began to thrust quickly. I shake uncontrollably from the cold and pleasure mixing. I moan louder as he picks his pace up, shoving the melting pop deeper. I moan loud enough for it to echo when he hits my prostate. Fucking fuck on a fuck stick! Fuck! I open my eyes to watch the passersby again. Can they hear me moaning? I wish they can, so they know Axel is driving me insane with pleasure. So they know how much I’m enjoying this, and they will never feel this good. I need more. 

"Fuck! Axe, right there!" My voice reaches a higher pitch and I try to spread my cheek away farther. He groans and kisses my lower back, shoving the treat in and out of me quickly, intentionally missing that spot. Bastard! Stop with the teasing! Please, please stop teasing. “A-Axe, please…”  
I’m so desperate, moaning like a whore in an attempt to make him thrust the almost completely melted treat in the right spot. I can’t help but rock my hips back. He moves his hand away every time it would get close to that spot, the fucking tease! Ugh! Fucking Axel stop being a dick about this!

"Roxy, the ice cream's completely melted, what should I do?" His whisper in my ear is laces with hunger, and with a playful tone as he pulls the treat’s stick out fully, plopping it the ground. 

My heart picks up the pace as I turn my head to look at him in the eyes as best I can through my half lidded eyes. “F-Fucking fu-ahhmm… Fuck me Axel.” His eyes widen and he looks over my body and I grin. He so obviously wants to, maybe he just needs more encouragement? "Come...come on axe, please? I've wanted you for so long, give me what I want. Make me yours!" I look down at his own crotch. He’s so hard, just from teasing me? That’s so fucking hot. I made him this hot? I grind my ass against his hard on. "You're so hard, Axe, come on I know you want me.” I hope I sound as seductive as I think I am.

He groans and closes his eyes for a moment, looking like he’s agonizing over something. Suddenly he almost rips the button from his jeans, and actually brakes his zipper in the attempt to get his pants off. He wants me that bad? My tail sways with my delight, and I sway my hips, watching his eyes follow my movements like a tiger ready to pounce. I love that look in his eyes. He finally pulls his pants and boxers off, and fuck! He’s bigger that I thought he would be. Maybe I haven’t prepared myself for this enough? I've seen him before, but I've never dared to study him in detail. He's toned, and thin, his pale skin is contrasted by his bright red hair. He has a happy trail of red curls from his belly bottom to his shaft. His carpet, definitely matches the drapes. It’s incredibly hot. Maybe I have a fucking fetish for redheads? With a moan of anticipation he presses himself against it my asshole.

"Rox, I’ll try to go slow, tell me if I-" Oh fucking hell, Axel. You’ve been teasing me all fucking day! I force my hips back onto his shaft, making myself take him all in one go. The feeling of heat, and searing pain, mixed with a feeling of complete pleasure mixed all into one. I let out a ragged moan. So fucking good! Also not a dream, I never could have imagined it feeling this good. My heart flutters like a humming bird’s wings, and the coil forming in my stomach knots up tighter. He interrupts himself with a loud, low moan. Oh fuck yes. Is it bad of me to enjoy the total control of this? To have reduced my tall, strong best friend, to a moaning mess? Maybe it is, but I don’t give a fuck. Well, I am. But only for Axe. I grin and roll my hips into his. "Rox," he whispers desperately.

"Nngh~ fuck. Me! Please? I can’t wait any longer!" I am very aware how whorish I sound, but I feel axel pulse within me, so it’s worth the small wave of shame. I always figured Axe liked dirty talk. His length is a lot bigger than the ice cream, but the treat had numbed my ass, so I wasn't feeling the sting as much as I would have otherwise. Thank fuck, because this is the most perfect way to lose my virginity. He grips my hips tight enough to leave marks, and pulls out to his tip and pulls me back, slamming me against his hips.  
“Axel!” I moan loudly and have to grip the ledge tightly again with both of my hands to stay steady. He starts a slow, but harsh pace. It’s driving me wild, I can’t stop moaning. It’s like a water fall of slutty noises. My own voice is turning me on, as I surrender to Axe’s harsh movements. Soon his thrusts became faster, but he keeps the same intensity. He thrusts harder into me, moving swiftly. His hand snakes around me to grip my weeping, neglected erection. I moan so loudly my throat feels raw, as he pumps my cock with his wild thrusting.  
"A-Axe, I'm gonna...cum..." I whimper helplessly and he groans, and thrusts faster, shifting his hips to hit that sweet spot. I swear I see a flash of white every time he pounds into it. "Ah!" I yelp each time he dives back into me. This is truly heaven. Soon I was falling off the cloud and enjoying the decent into hell, moaning Axel's name wantonly as my seed spills to the floor. My whole body shaking and arching up with the power of my orgasm. He groans low in his throat as he thrusts into my bliss filled body and cums himself, filling me to the brim. He grips my hips tight as he rides out his bliss.

"Ro-Roxas...that was..." I leans forward, kissing my shoulder as he slides out. He moves away from me, and I wish he didn’t. He was the only thing keeping me from falling. With the amazing reflexes I was blessed with, I turn and fall into his chest. I feel so good. This is better than how I imagined him to take my first time. I can barely stand; it almost makes me feel giggly. He holds me up, despite being weak at the knees himself. I want to kiss him, thank him. I can’t really talk, cause my throat hurts like a bitch. But a kiss will do better. But I’m so fucking short. I’m on my tip-toes, trying kiss him, but I still can't make it. I whimper, my ears flicking flat against my head. Curse my tiny mom for her shortness genes. He chuckles tiredly, closing the space soon after. I hum in softly. My blissful paradise is in his loving arms.

“A-Axe….I love you.” I mumbled into his chest, my tail swishing slowly, displaying my happy mood. My body tingles, and my brain is swirling. I can’t remember ever feeling this happy, ever. Axel lowers us both slowly onto the ground, wrapping his arms tighter around me. I curl into his lap, kissing his jaw.

“Oh, god Roxas. I love you too.” He nuzzles his nose into my hair as he holds me close to his chest. I feel like a precious object, nestled into a soft padded box. Safe from the possibility of breaking. My heart skips a beat and my cheeks flush brightly. I’m just too tired to do anything about it, but it doesn’t feel like I really need to do anything. I just cuddle Axel as the sun slowly went down. The other ice pops melted. It’s almost sad, but im too blissful to care. We don’t say anything else, just enjoyed out happy silence. I wrap my tail around his waist and his arms are secured tightly around me. I feel happy, and safe, and nothing can ever take this moment from me. 

Sleepy, happy. Maybe I’ll sleep dreamlessly again tonight. I feel the pull of sleep tugging my eyelids down, and curl closer into Axe’s chest. Before I know it Axe is carrying me bridal style down the steps, our cloths properly put on. When did he do that? Whatever, I’m cuddled to Axel’s chest, smiling. Tonight was perfect, I couldn’t have imagined a better way to tell, well show I guess, Axe my feelings. A thought pops into my head, and before I could stop myself I blurt out, “Axe, we’re together, together now….Right?” 

He chuckles softly at me and the sound makes my heart swell. In a good way. Even if he’s upset, his chuckle makes my heart race. In my heart I know the answer. It was a stupid question to begin with. I love Axel, he made it clear his feelings to me. Of course we’re together. I just want to hear him say it. Is that so wrong? Maybe it’s weird. “Rox, don’t tell me you think I would tell you I love you, or do what I did with just anyone?”

I shake my head and try to kiss him as an apology, but I miss and get his chin. He chuckles softly again and sets me down carefully when we get to the last stair. “Good, now, how do you feel? I wasn’t exactly gentle with you. I didn’t hurt you more, did I?” The concern in his voice makes me melt. 

“No, I don’t think so. My brain is still a little fuzzy from sex. So, for now I’m fine. I promised not to keep secrets with you right?” He looks at me, gazing into my eyes, searching for lies, or nervous behavior. He won’t find any, because I feel fine. For now. The pain ill catch up to me later, and I will tell him when it does. Right now though, I feel amazing. I smile brightly at him to drive my point home. Axel nods after a minute and we get in his car and drive home. Well, to Axel’s house, which is home to me. More so than my own house anyway. 

I take off my hat while we were driving, no one would be paying attention to a passing car, right? I wasn’t expecting Axe to start rubbing my ears as he drove. His thumb massages the base and his fingertips kneading the top. Hmmm, I love it. My breath hitches in my throat, because fuck it’s hard to breathe when he’s sparking my arousal again. I don’t know what it is about my ears, but the way he’s rubbing is making me hot all over again. I try to hide the new bulge in my pants, and slow my breathing so I don’t give myself away. Axe should be paying attention to the road, not me, but fuck if I’m going to ask him to stop. I don’t notice Axel had stopped in front of his house until he’s rubbing my crotch and his lips are on my neck. I gasp and squirm at the touch. “A-Axe, d-don’t. People will look….T-The-Ah, they can see.” 

Axel doesn’t reply with words, the nip to my ear and squeeze to my cock gave me the answer that he didn’t care. The pleasure is making it hard for me to care either. I close my eyes and moan softly, loosing myself to his touch. This is bad, so bad, but it feels good. I don’t want the good feelings to-.

A loud series of angry knocks to the car window had me jumping out of my skin from fright, my cock throbbing harder from being caught. Fuck, Reno will be laughing at us for weeks! Axel snaps back to his side of the car.  
"ROXAS STRIFE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" My world crashes to a halt when the door slams open and my father's hand grabs my arm painfully tight.


	6. In Deep Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets really serious here, and you might have some serious problems with Tifa..... Plus its a cliffhanger again. Don't hate me XD.

This cannot be happening. The day I tell Axe I love him, ruined by my father. "ROXAS STRIFE, GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE FAGGOT!" He grabs my wrist, tugging me from the safety of Axel. I yelp and try to hide the tears that begin falling from my eyes. Of course father would disapprove of my liking men. He sounds utterly disgusted. I am repulsive, a fag freak. Hey! That's and alliteration! Happy days, I guess. I sob pitifully as father yanks on my arm. I don’t know how I’m getting my jelly-filled legs to work, must be the stabs of pain from my chest reminding my body to work. Reminding my body that my father always means business. 

"Let him go cloud." Axel growls sternly, grabbing my other arm tightly, tugging just as hard as my father. I feel like taffy being pulled by a rookie candy-maker. It hurts, but I’m too scared to make a sound. Maybe if I just stay still, I’ll disappear into thin air. If only. My father wretches me from Axe’s grip, pulling me into his chest, knocking the wind out of my lungs, again. What do I do? Fuck, his nails are digging into my arm. I want to cry. I’m such a coward. So weak. If I could only get out of his grasp, I could be locked away in Axel’s house. Safe. Probably curled into Axel’s lap, as he kisses me better. Axel kisses could make anything better.

"No, and I suggest you don't go near my son again, ever. If I catch you near him again, I will have you jailed." My father snarls. My heart hits the floor and burns a hole to hell. I'm not allowed to see Axel? No, he can’t do this to me. Axel is the one good thing in my life. I have to pull away from my father, get far away. I don’t want to leave Axel. I can do nothing against Cloud though. He’s definitely beaten into that shit into my head. Nothing. I’m nothing. I can’t stop him from doing what he wants to me. Cloud pulls me away from Axel, causing pain to shoot through my body, but what hurts is my heart. Axe shouts after us, I can’t make out what he’s saying, as my father drags me with him and throws me into his car. Fucking hell, I definitely felt my rib shift a bit. I want to cry, so badly. MY head is swimming, and my chest burns and sharply pinches. Breathe slow. Don’t make noise. Don’t make him angrier. My father gets in the car and drives away just as Reno shouts at us from the door.

"Roxas!" Axel yells, trying to get my door open. I put my hand on the window, watching him desperately. All I have to do is unlock the door, but I’m so afraid of my father. I can’t. Tears fall down my cheeks, my vision is so blurry I can only make out the color of Axel’s hair. I don’t want to be here. I'm alone with my father, and he's furious. I whimper, shaking uncontrollably. I want to be back in Axel’s arms. 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BOY! You're such a disgrace!" I jump out of my skin when Cloud shouts. He speeds away, I have to hold the door handle so I don’t get tossed around. He’s going too fast. I’m going to be sick. I’m going to be dead when we get home, so I guess I should be happy while I’m alive. At least I told Axel how I feel. I won’t regret dying without him knowing. We pull into our driveway in record time, and Mom isn’t home. I pray to some god, or goddess or holy-spirit, or whoever is fucking listening that Sora is home. Cloud is going to kill me this time, something is off. He grabs the collar of my shirt and drags me out of the car. I can’t help but tremble and bite my lip, I don’t want to cry out. He drags me into the house and I stumble and fall to the hardwood. Ow, fuck, my chest. A groan escapes my lips without my permission, and I hold onto my chest. It hurts, the pain is making my head spin. I don’t know if I can take it this time. Cloud slams the door shut and locks the dead bolt. I can't stop the shiver with the intense feeling of being trapped. I’m going to die. I know it. I’m so broken already, I can’t handle more abuse. 

He spits on me, I feel it in my hair. I want to throw up, Just the thought of his snot in my hair, churns my insides. I can’t say anything, or do anything. I am alone in this. I’m such a terrible son. Whatever I did, my punishment must be justified. Who hates someone for no reason? No one. So I must have done something horrible to make my father hate me so much. I feel tears welling up in my eyes, a sickly sadness grips my heart. Why am I such a fuckup?

Cloud kicks my in the side. "How dare you tell others that you're hurt! Aren't you a man? Roxas? Oh, no, I forgot. MY SON IS A FAGGOT." He kicks my jaw. A searing pain shoots from my jaw down my spine. I whimper at the taste of blood in my mouth. I cry out, unable to stop the sound. That was stupid, but I can’t stop the small strangles sobs from escaping. I’m too drained, to hurt. I can’t take this anymore, I can’t breathe, and I don’t even want to be alive anymore. 

My father grabs my ear and pulls me to my feet. "Did you enjoy getting fucked by him? I bet you did, you slut. You were moaning so loud you had a wall of onlookers. People taking pictures. Who was he? A client? Are you a whore?" He snickers and throws me the floor again. Whore? Pictures? I didn’t notice anyone taking photos. Not that I care, I don’t care who knows about Axel and I. "Its ok, soon you won't ever see him again. I'm going to run him out of town, so he can never touch you again." 

My heart cracks slowly, with every word, breaking more. Not seeing axel, ever again? Not even at school? I slowly slip into myself. I don't notice my father yell again, nor do I feel him pulling me to my feet by my hair and dragging me to the garage. What does anything matter anymore? I can’t fight back. I can’t do anything, and no one is going to save me. No one. 

He shoves me into a scarily familiar little space in the wall, and I snap back into reality. "DAD! WAIT! DON'T, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" I yell at the top of my lungs. I fight against him, but I can’t do much when I feel like I’m getting stabbed in the chest with each flail. I can’t let him leave me here. I don’t want to be left in the dark. I hate the dark. Cloud pushes be effortlessly to the craped floor and slams the door before I can do anything. There’s nothing I can do. I know I can’t get out once he’s shut the door. I’ve tried so many times before.   
I sob, "DADDY! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS! What did I do...?" I sob harder, my whole body shakes. Everything hurts. I’m locked in here. This weird room in my garage will be my tomb, I’m dead. There is nothing I can do to stop him from leaving me in here. How long will he leave me this time? A few minutes? A day? I sob my eyes out, what’s the use in holding back now? No one’s going to hear me. I curl on the cracked concrete floor and wrap my tail around myself. My whole body shakes with my sobs. It hurts to cry like this, but I can’t make it stop. No one can hear me, no one’s around to hear me. No one cares. I’m useless, unwanted. My dad locked me in here to die. My own father. I can’t tell how long I’ve been crying, but I slowly feel my eyes get heavy, and my energy drain and pass into darkness.

~~~~~~Dream~~~~~

"Daddy, what's wrong daddy?" A very young Roxas asked the man whose hand he was holding. Cloud was hurting his tiny hand, and he didn't know what was wrong. His tiny new cat ears were pressed close to his head in fear. Roxas was so confused. Why won’t daddy talk to him? He hadn't done anything wrong, or he didn't think he did. "Daddy?" Roxas' voice wavered.

Cloud pulled him into the garage and threw him into the tiny room. He heard cloud lock it and yell. "You were not supposed to go in my room Roxas, you have been a very bad little boy, and you need to be punished! If you your mother knows of daddy's friend Leon, she will leave us. You have broken our family Roxas." At his father’s harsh words, Roxas cried hard, still not understanding. Roxas heard his daddy walking away, leaving him locked in the dark. He didn’t understand. Roxas wants his mommy, and his brother Sora. Where were they? Why did they let daddy lock him up? Roxas cried loudly. It only echoed in his tiny cell, unheard by anyone but Roxas.

~~~~~~~~ End Dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I gasp and sit up, hitting my head on the ceiling. "Ow..." I hold my head, breathing slowly. I look around, there is nothing here. Like always. Thankfully I can see in the dark, otherwise I would be terrified, like I used to be. I sit against the wall and ignore the many pain signals that my body is alerting me to. I can’t do anything about it, so I may as well just ignore it. I slowly draw in a breath and exhale quickly, feeling the energy drain a bit with the carbon dioxide. I hate this room. 

The dream was eerie, because I almost forgot that first time. Now I remember the days I would spend here when daddy and Leon would want their alone time. I remember now. Dad, Cloud, my father, had an affair with Squall Leonheart, our old neighbor. That was until he moved. I remember Leon now. I didn't understand what dad was doing with brunette was when I was a child, but now I know. I know my father is a cheating hypocrite.

I yell, "Mom! Sora! Help me!" I yell over and over, desperately till my voice was raw and I am dizzy. "A-Axel! Please save me...I'm so scared...help me..." My voice is barely a whimper now. I close my eyes in defeat; of course my father probably sound proofed this room or something. I'm going to die here, because my father hates me. He hates me because I saw things I shouldn’t have, I know things. Not because I'm a freak, but because he's ashamed. Tears fall from my eyes. "Dad...I...would have forgiven you...but you hurt me...just to have your Sunday fuck..." I slowly close my eyes. I’m not going to deal with this. I’ll just…Sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sora~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Axel, what the fuck do you mean he's not with you? Dad didn't say he was with him! He's not in his room! AXEL WHERE IS MY BROTHER!" I half sob, half scream into my phone. This is scaring me. Axel called me, yelling that my father took Roxas. Took Roxas where? Why would he do that? Apparently he was furious, but why would he do something like this? I growl and run down the stairs to my father, who is cleaning dishes. "Father! Where's Roxas?" I demand, but I’m shaking where I stand. From equal points anger and fear. If Axel is right, Father did something terrible to him. Why would he do something to Roxas? Why does he pick on him? I need to do something. 

"What do you mean? Didn't your mother say he was at his red headed friend's house?" He doesn’t even bother to look back at me. Rage burns in my chest, hot like fire coals. What the fuck does he mean by that? Axel just called me saying you took him away. Why are you lying? I glare at the back of his head. I can’t keep quiet any more. 

"No, he said you took Roxas away, that you were angry at him for something and took him away! Where is he father?" I yell louder. This isn't right, dad loved Rox once, I remember. Roxas used to smile more back then, but suddenly he wouldn't go to the park with dad and me anymore. He didn't speak up, or yell like he used to. Once upon a time Roxas acted like me, but something happened to him. I didn't really do anything, but I was too young. Now I can protect my brother. I can stand up to my father. Even though I’m shaking in my boots. I wish Riku were here. Father then turns on his heel, glaring at me. I feel like he slapped me with just the look, but I need to stand my ground. 

"Did he tell you what he did to your brother, Sora? Did he tell you why I was so angry?" He yells, taking a step toward me with each word. I step back every time he steps forward. I shake my head. My voice is caught in my throat. "He was de-flowering my son”, he spits venomously, "on the roof of the clock tower!" I blush darkly and blink. Hold on, reset. Axel, touched Rox like that? Well, it's about damn time! The location wasn't the best. They could have been more discreet. Honestly finding my son like that would piss me off too. Though, I guess my son finally getting laid would be cause for celebration. Regardless of sexual orientation. Why would Dad care if Roxas likes Axel? What has Axel ever done to Father? Deflowering, that makes Roxas sound like a girl. That’s really weird. I wonder if Roxas bottomed. I bet he did. I bet he enjoyed it. If they really did, wouldn’t that have hurt Roxas? He’s got a broken rib. 

"So I put that fag into an institution. So he can get better." I blink, snapping out of my runaway thoughts, and stare at my father. Is he really mad that he is gay? That’s so wrong. Would he send me away for being gay too? Who does that?! Cloud turns back to the dishes. I don’t even know what to say to him. The pit of my stomach is hot and heavy with anger and sadness. I storm out before I start crying in front of him. Dad sent Roxas away? Really? Just because he was having sex semi-publicly with another man? Then I stop before I can even leave the kitchen. Dad can't just, send Roxas away. Roxas is half cat. You can’t just send him somewhere without lawyers and contracts of secrecy. It would have been expensive, and mom would have known. Mom would not have let this happen. My heart is slowly freezing over with dread. Dad is lying. Why did he lie? What did he really do with Roxas? I need to call Axel again.

"Hey, did you find him? Please tell me you found him." Axe blurts out as soon as the call connects. He’s really worried. I bite my lip. How do I tell Axel? Do I tell him what my father said? I don’t think he really did that. So I don't really know where Roxas is, I need is help.

"No. Dad lied, pick me up, now. I’ll explain when you get here." That’s all I can manage to say without getting hysterical. I can feel the panic setting in. So I just hang up so he can’t ask questions before I know how to answer them. First thing’s first I go to my room and grab a backpack, stuffing it with cloths, homework and my laptop and charger. I have a feeling Dad won’t welcome me to come back if he notices me missing. I sneak down the ivy on the side of the house to get out. Axel soon pulls up and I get into his car quickly. 

"Where's Roxas! VERDAMMT ! Das ist alles meine Schuld!” (Damnit! This is all my fault!) He yells, gripping his steering wheel tight. He drives off, in no particular direction. HE should stop, cause he’s going fast, but I really don’t have the energy to tell him to stop.

"You horny bastard, why couldn't you fuck him in a bed!" I yell, blushing darkly. This is really Axel’s fault. If they had waited. If they had been more private. Dad wouldn’t know Rox is gay, and He wouldn’t be in some unknown conversion camp. Maybe Axe forced him? Not that I believe that at all, but weirder things have happened I guess. Couldn’t hurt to ask…right? "Did...did he enjoy it though?" 

Axel blushes dark and glances at me before looking back to the road and sighing. "He wanted it. He begged me. I did start it, but I tried to give him as many outs as he needed. I tried not to make him think he had to. I wanted him too. I have for a while. I guess we just couldn't wait. We've been waiting for too long already. I'm sorry Sora, this is my fault." His shoulders shake and he grips the wheel tighter. "Roxas and I just started dating, I don’t want to lose that right after I just got it. Do you have any idea where he is?" His voice is shaking like he’s going to cry. I’ve never seen Axel cry. It kind of warms my heart that he would cry for Roxas, or it would if it didn’t tear my heart out.

"Axel... Dad- No, Cloud did something to Roxas because he's gay...he wasn't mad that you were in public, or that you were too young. No. He took him away to some “Conversion treatment” place because he likes dick." I sob, unable to keep in the tears any more. Roxas didn’t really do anything wrong. He doesn’t deserve this. Plus I…. Oh god. I can’t believe this is even really crossing my mind. I’m so selfish.   
"Axel...I broke up with Kairi…for Riku. What is my father going to do? I can't tell him...I couldn't even tell Roxas! He’ll throw me out!” I shake my head, I need to get a hold of myself. This isn’t about me. “I haven't had the time with Roxas to tell him...he's been so withdrawn. Cloud has been hurting Rox since we were little. Its time I did something. I don’t know where Cloud put Roxas, but I can’t just sit there and let him do this anymore. I’ve sat back quietly too long. I want my brother back!" I cry harder, all the hurt and anger and fear just fall out of my throat.

Axel is quiet while I cry. I appreciate it, because I don’t want fake words or sympathy. I just want to cry and move on. When I finally stop, we’re halfway to my mom’s work office, Axel speaks up. "You and Riku? I guess it makes sense." He grins sadly at me, "Riku has liked you for a while. I’m happy for you two. We’ll find Roxy, even if it means we get the army to search! You know Reno won’t just sit idly by. He’ll have your father in an interrogating room as soon as I call him" He says with a shaky grin. I nod and look forward, watching the road idly.

"Yes, I refuse to give up, or keep my mouth shut this time. We need to tell mom." I’m not worried about loosing dad, or Rox being angry with me. Cloud doesn’t deserve Mom, not if he’s going to abuse his son like this. Roxas will get over his anger. I just want Roxas back, and mom will help. Mom will be the first step to make this better. I shift nervously as axel speeds down the road.

Axel pulls into the parking lot of the law firm that mom works at, and we rush in to tell the receptionist to page her. Mom rushes over almost immediately after the receptionist got off the phone with her. "Baby, what's wrong, you never come to my work...Axel? Oh no...Is it Roxas?" She looks worried sick, and I don’t blame her. I have a feeling she’s suspecting Cloud, but has no hard evidence. Cloud’s only started hitting Roxas a few years ago. Mom got really busy with work then too. She’s not home often, but I’ve never taken it as she doesn’t care. I can’t say the same for Roxas though. 

"Mom...we don't know where he is...dad...well...he...um..." I stutter and start to cry again. How do I word it so her heart wont shatter? I tried to just tell her, but the truth hurts so badly. I have to say something, but what? I lost words. They won’t come. It just hurts, and Mom needs to know. How to say Cloud is horrible, and Rox is gone. Axel grabs my shoulder, squeezing lightly. I look back at him, teary eyed.

"We need to sit down, and we have something…um, well bad news is putting it very lightly, to tell you." She blinks and tears fill her eyes. I look down, I can’t look at her. Not while her world is about to be turned upside down.

"Is he… hurt? Dead? Missing? What what's wrong?" Her voice is shaking. I quickly reach over and hug her tight.   
"Mom, we need to talk, we need help." I whisper and pull away enough to look in her eyes. She needs to see how serious I am. She nods and walks us to the break room. Mom locks the door, and sits with us. She looks between Axel and I; nervous and confused.

"What's wrong Sora? Is he in the hospital again?" She looks me in the eye and I squirm, trying to look anywhere but her. She keeps looking at me, I can tell, but how do I do this. I take a deep breath and look at her in the eye. Here goes nothing I guess.

"Mom, dad has been hurting Roxas. Dad did that to Roxas this Friday. Now dad has taken Roxas somewhere, we don't know where. He said it was a conversion place. He was the last one to be-" Mom cuts me off, and I’m shaking visably.

"Sora strife! How dare you blame your father for such horrible things! I would have noticed if my husband was hurting my son!" She stands and glares at me. What? She’s mad at me? I can’t stop staring at her, dumbfounded. My mother doesn't believe me. How can she not believe me? This is ridiculous! I don't have time for this. I feel the anger rising from the pit of my stomach, making me see red. I can’t believe Mom honestly didn’t even suspect Cloud of any wrong doing! How could she be so damn blind!? I mean, if she had been suspecting, but didn’t want to accuse, sure, fine, I can bring myself to understand that. But Roxas has been treated differently since we were kids. Cloud has been beating him since we started high school. I guess Cloud was very careful to only do it when Mom wasn’t home, but did she really believe that Rox was always beaten by bullies? If so, why didn’t she try to stop those bullies? I’m so fucking angry. I need to scream. Axel put his hand on my shoulder, and I jump and look at him, confused.

"T-Tifa...we aren't joking. We wouldn’t do this if we weren’t serious. Why would we? I don't know where cloud has put him. But..." he takes a deep breath and blushes deep red, “cloud caught us, um, making love on the roof of the clock tower. He stormed away with Roxas and threw him into the car. I couldn't follow fast enough because cloud sped away in his car. He didn't drive toward your house. I don't kn-" Mom puts a shaking hand up in front of Axel’s face, cutting him off.

"Stop lying to me, you boys are wrong! Cloud wouldn't hurt one of our babies!" She protests and glares daggers at axel, "I know the types of feelings you have for my son, but I would hope you wouldn't do such intimate things with him in public. Now, if you'll excuse me! I have work! Take Sora home Axel, he's grounded." She orders. 

Why won’t she believe me? When have I ever given her reason to think I would lie about something like this? I can’t. I just can’t take this. Roxas is hurt and missing. I start sobbing again, my shoulders shaking hard. I have to lean on Axel to stay upright. Mom, seriously doesn't believe us. She thinks I would lie about my Dad doing horrible things to my Brother. It hurts to much she thinks this low of me. Hurts so much it makes me see red again. I can’t hold it back this time. I stand, knocking over my chair over, slamming my hand down on the table hard. Mom jumps, and Axel is staring at me worried. I don’t care. Roxas needs me. He needs Mom to open her damn eyes.

"Mom!” I scream through a sob, "I don't lie! Roxas. Is. missing! Dad has been hurting him! Dad did something! Why won't you believe me?!" I glare into her eyes. I can’t back down. Roxas needs her to believe me. I don’t know what to do if she isn’t on my side. "If you don't believe me, I will never, ever forgive you for letting that man get away with hurting my brother!" I scream again, feeling my cheeks go red, and my throat go raw from the force.

Mother looks hurt and frowns. She still looks infuriatingly confused. "Sora...why would your father hurt Roxas? Roxas himself said that that bully pu-" I growl and walk to her, grabbing her hands, squeezing tight. I stare into her eyes.

"Mom! SEIFER ISN'T EVEN AT SCHOOL ANYMORE. He dropped out last year! He went to military school." I sob angrily. How much more convincing does she need? "Roxas made it up! He lied! Because he didn't want you and dad to fight. But Roxas is missing, and dad was the last person to see him." The anger drains out, and I can’t. I just. She has to believe me, because I can’t. I sob, because it’s all I can get out. I can’t believe I didn’t interfere sooner. If Roxas never comes back, it’s all my fault. I lean into her, weak from all the shouting and crying and stress. She wraps her arms around me tightly, and I can feel her shaking.

"Alright Sora, but what am I going to do, go ask your father where Roxas is? What's stopping him from lying to me, if he's lied to you?" She hugs me tighter, crushing my close. Her voice is calm, which means she’s freaking out. That scares me more. She doesn’t even know what to do? How do I find Roxas if She doesn’t know how to help? “Let me tell my boss I need to leave work early. We’ll think of something.” I nod, and hug her tighter. Mom I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. If I had said something on Friday even, Roxas would still be here. Oh god what if Dad…. No. No…. Cloud wouldn’t have. I can’t even think about it. I’ll cry again. I can’t cry. 

"Mom, he told me he put him in one of those...gay camps or institutions. He was mad that Roxas is gay...so he sent him away." I shake as I try to stop from crying again, "D-Dad wouldn't do that, because Roxas is… cursed” I whisper. Mom is crying, the scared look is in her eye again.

"T-this isn't the first time that Roxas has disappeared...I believe you Sora...I just wish I hadn't pretended to be blind before." My mother hides her face in my shoulder, hugging me tighter. What? This has happened before? When? Why did she ignore it? What?


	7. Shameless Self Promotion!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I started a youtube channel where I read fanfiction! The first video is up!  
>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r7Us9mkgAw&feature=youtu.be

This is what I've been working on instead of writing.... I'm so sorry about that. I'm hoping that this youtube think will make up for how long I've been MIA on this fic.   
I am taking requests to read fanfictions. I'd prefer if it were your own. I do any fandom or pair. I have a few in mind to read, but I'll run out soon. 

If you have a request, message me here, comment on this, or the video. I'll read it and get back to you. 

 

I'm super excited about this, and I hope it goes well. I hope ya'll go and check it out, the first fideo is an Adventure time ML/GB fic. 

Thanks ya'll!


	8. We Lost Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit is starting to get real guys. Hold onto your seats.

I pull away from my mom, frowning. This isn’t the first time? When was the first time? Why did he disappear before? I can’t even look at her. I have a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. She’s let Cloud live with us, knowing he’s done horrible things to Roxas before? Why would she do that? How could she just ignore this? I mean, I did, but I am not an adult. I wouldn’t be able to get Cloud to stop. Mom should have done something. I look up at Axel and mumble. “We need to get back to the house, now.”

Axel nods and Mom sighs. “I’ll be right there Sora, I need to tell my boss there’s an emergency. Axel, can you call your brother? We will need the police involved….” Her voice is shaky, but her face is calm. I can’t tell if she’s really angry, or trying not to cry. I don’t know if either make her ignorance better. At least she’s here for Roxas now. Even though that’s a shitty consolation prize. I leave with Axel, without giving her a second look. 

Axel drive to the house, he is quiet. He forgot to call his brother. I didn’t feel like reminding him. I can tell he’s in just as much shock as I am. When we get to the house cloud is sitting on our sofa in the living room, watching television. He’s just sitting there, like he didn’t do anything wrong. Soon Mom walks through the door, looking angrier than I ever remember her looking. I jump and get out of her way as she storms over to Cloud.

“Cloud, where is Roxas?” Mother demands, her voice full of venom. 

"I donno, he was-" he responds lazily.

"Axel said you were the last to see him, how do you not know where he is Cloud?" She yells impatiently and I looked to Axel who is frowning deeply. I don't understand why my father would want to hurt Roxas? Roxas has never been one to do bad things. Yet he’s always gotten the brunt of Cloud’s anger and hate. 

"Yeah, that was a while ago, I don't know where he is now." He challenges her, sitting up more threateningly. That is NOT what he told me. I growl and I can’t stop myself from going over there with the intent to punch his stupid fucking face in. Next thing I know Axel’s grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his chest.

"Shh, Sora let your mom handle this. Let's go get Riku and Reno to help us search for him. Plus, you need to calm down." He holds me tight as I shake and cry again. My father gave my mom another bull-shit explanation about where Roxas was. I can’t take this anymore. I break away from axel's grip. "Sora!" He called after me, but I don't want to listen. I want my father to give Roxas back, and to get thrown into jail.

"Liar! You told me you threw him into one of those institutions for gay people. You didn't just take him home and let him leave! You -" my father glares at me and stands. My mother hisses his name as he grabs me by my collar.

"Ok, fine, I put the faggot in his place! Why do you care so much?!" He spits at me and mother pulls his arm, yelling something. I can't hear anything but my heart thudding in my ears. Finally he told the fucking truth. Tears fall from my eyes as glare back into my father's unusually cold eyes. Maybe this isn’t unusual? Maybe Dad being so nice to me is what was unusual. If being Gay is so bad, I should just come out too. Maybe he’ll throw me in the same place as Roxas. 

"I'm gay too." I whisper, staring right in his eyes. His eyes grow darker, dangerous. "I broke up with Kairi, for a man." He throws me to the ground. Mom yells my name and Cloud starts to argue with her.

"You raised faggots Aerith, do you feel special?" He spits at my mother. She has tears in her eyes. I don't know if she was crying because she is disgusted with me or dad. Either way I don’t like it.

"Yes, I am gay, and Roxas is too. Is that so fucking wrong dad?!" I scream as I stand up, challenging him again. He backhands me, causing my cheek to sting and tears to fall from my eyes. My father hit me, for being me. Now I know a little of how it feels to be my twin. How it feels to be a black sheep, a freak. It made my insides twist and burn. The only thing is, I haven’t dealt with this since I was 4 or something. Roxas has. He’s hurt Roxas so many times, in so many ways. Rage surges through my veins. My mom is staring at me, dumbfounded. She looks to cloud angrily.

"Don't you dare touch my son that way!" She shouts and he turns on her, getting ready to slap her, but axel grabs his wrist before he can. My mind is spinning from all that’s happening. Mom stood up for me. Axel is putting himself in the middle of this. Roxas is still missing, and Cloud refuses to tell is where. What do we do? 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. My brother is very friendly with the cops." His voice is dark, it sends shivers down my spine. Cloud growls and wretches his hand away from Axel and punches him in the face.

"You're part of the fucking problem! You turned my son into a faggot!" He accuses as Axel holds his cheek. It is already turning blue and swelling. My father is a strong guy, and I wouldn't be surprised if he broke his jaw. "You need to get the fuck out of my house. Take that filth with you too!" he points at me

Axel grabs my father's collar and growls in his face. "Take that back. Right now. If anyone is filth in this room it's you. Now, I think you need to leave. If you aren't going to tell us where Roxas is, you better run, run far away." I've never heard Axel yell like that. He’s so scary, I need to remember to piss him off. I stand and tug on his shirt weakly, hoping to catch his attention. Axel spins around and growls.

"Axe, hurting him won’t bring Rox back, it will just get you in jail for assault. Now, unhand him, and let's call the police." I say calmly, even though I am bubbling with anger on the inside. Axel glares and lets Cloud go. My mother had already been on the phone with the police, and she was yelling at them.

"What do you mean you won't come?! What? Cloud has- Leon, you need to- What?! Leon I need your help Cloud- "She looks angry as she throws her phone on the ground, breaking it. She stalks over to dad and slaps him. "I don't know what you've don't to Roxas, but you will never, ever, ever be allowed back here. Your lover said he is glad you finally got rid of, and I quote, 'the little runt'.” She is crying. My dad has a lover? He’s cheating on mother? How can he look at us every day? I feel like I’m going to throw up, because I looked up to my father. Up until I knew he was beating Roxas. This weekend has been a horrible weekend. My world is crumbling around me. I hang my head and cry in anger. I don't even know who this Leon is. It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't completely remember. He is the least of my worries right now. I have to get Cloud out of my house, and I have to look for my brother.

"You are the biggest hypocrite, Cloud. You call Roxas and I fags, yet you were shagging Leon….The chief of police!” I remember, Reno introduced me once when Roxas and I were waiting for Axel. “That's low and I cannot believe you." I frown. "You need to leave, right now. I don't want to look at your stupid face!" I yell, and he grins at me. He chuckles and walks toward the stairs.

"Fine, I'll go. There's no reason to stay in this hell hole anyway." He disappears to his room and my mother falls to her knees sobbing into her hands. I sigh and kneel down to hug her tightly. Her body shakes violently with each sob and it tugs my heart. I desperately need to hit something, destroy something dear to my father, so he could feel this pain. Axel sighs next to me and helps us both up.

"Mrs. St-"He starts but Mom stops him by holding up her hand. She looks up at him angrily.

"Please, I am single, no need to be so formal anyway Axel, You are like a second son. Call me Tifa from now on. I am no longer a strife." She sniffles. I hug my mother tight out of fear and anger.

"Tifa…I'm sorry. If I had held back, none of thi-." He tries again, but Mom stops him again. She sighs and sits down on the sofa, pulling me with her. I sit next to her and sigh. Axel sits on her other side and did the same, holding his face in his hands. "Ich will Roxy zurück... ich haβe Cloud! Fuck! Er braucht Roxas zurück zu geben!"( I want Roxy back...I hate Cloud! Fuck! He needs to give Roxas back!) Mom pulls him close. Axel tenses at the touch and tugs his hair. Axel looks so high strung, and right then and there I knew he really loves my brother. That makes me happy, but it also brakes my heart because Roxas is missing, and can't be happy with Axel till we find him.

"Axel, calm down, keep a level head. We need to look for him, he could be in the house. Cloud used to disappear with Roxas all the time when he was little. Maybe he hasn't even taken him anywhere….." She sighs and stands. I look at her confused. Dad used to do things like this often? "He used to say they were going fishing and camping and Sora didn't really like those things, so he stayed behind with me. This is an old house, and it has a lot of little compartments. Let's look in the attic and basement." We nod and stand together. I can be angry at mom for this later. It’s unproductive. I’ll just channel it to finding Rox.

"I've got the basement, you guys go look in the attic." Axel says and starts for the basement. I nod and start walking to the Attic.

"Mom, you should stay here, and wait for him to come back down. Don't let him leave without making sure he's leaving alone." I say, looking back at mom. She looks uncomfortable with that but she nods anyway. I run up to the attic and look everywhere. I know all of the good hiding spots in the house from playing hide and seek when I was a kid. 

Dad’s having an affair with Leon. I remember Leon now. Leon was our neighbor from when Rox and I were little. He used to baby sit us when mom and dad were away. I liked Leon, he would always let me eat cookies before dinner and would let Roxas and I play whenever we wanted. He really didn't babysit us well. He was always gone unless we called for him. I remember the first day I noticed Roxas acting weird.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey Woxas! Let's go see daddy befowr he weaves!" Sora tugged on Roxas' ear, a human ear. "Come on Woxy! Daddy is weaving fow a week! Dats a wong time!" Sora pulled on his covers but Roxas held them tighter , hiding his face in his pillow.

"G-Go-way Sowa! I no feew gowd.” Sora looked at him and pouted. Roxas never got sick, ever. If they did get sick, they usually got sick together. Sora pulled harder on the covers and Roxas whined in a weird way. "SOWA! I SAID GO WAY!" Roxas yelled at me, turning his head to glare at me with his big, blue eyes. It broke Sora’s little heart to see Rox so mad at him, so he started to cry. Roxas just glared at his brother till he ran out of the room. Sora ran into Leon in the hall.

"Woah, kiddo, what's the rush?" He picked Sora up and whipped his tears away. Sora liked Leon he was nice. Leon and Dad were really good friends and Sora always wanted a friend like Leon. He was big and strong and warm when he hugged you. He was always hugging Daddy and It was nice to see daddy smile. Sora was upset though, because Roxas hated me, and his tiny world was crumbling because his brother yelled at him.

"W-Woxas…He…Yeweded at me!" Sora sobbed into Leon's warm neck and he sighed. Leon's hug seamed to get less comforting and Sora heard him say to Daddy.

"I thought you took care of him Cloud." Leon hissed, and that confused Sora. What was Leon talking about? Take care of who? He looked to daddy who was frowning.

"What do you suppose I do Leon? I can't really get rid of him, because Tifa will be on my ass." He growled at the brunette and Sora looked even more confused. Leon sighed and looked at me.

"You ok now bud? Your daddy has to go now." He told Sora and he nodded, reaching for cloud. He picked Sora up in his arms and I hugged him tight.

"Woxy and I say bye daddy." Sora smiled at him and he put me down, grumbling something and walking away. The tiny brunette didn't understand, usually his daddy would hug him tight and say 'see ya later kiddo' or something. He just left, and Leon followed him. So Sora was in the hall, alone crying again. Sora heard little footsteps behind him and then felt arms wrap around him from behind.

"D-Don't cry Sowa, It's ok. Down't cwy, I sowwy, I dodn't mean it." Roxas cried into Sora’s shoulder, hugging him tighter. Sora turned around and hugged him back. Roxas is acting weird, he never cries. I don't like it. So Sora held onto Roxas tighter until Leon called us down for breakfast.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Axel calls for me so I run down the stairs. I find him next to my mother and Cloud, he looks pissed. "Sora I couldn't find him anywhere, and Cloud said that you should remember where Cloud hides him when he's been bad." Axel yells at me and I take a step back. Axel’s yelling scared me and I shook my head. Why would I know where Roxas is? Why would I lie? Why is Axel yelling at me like I’m the one doing something wrong?

"I don't know where he would hide him…" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Why would I not tell you if I knew?" I sigh and walk to Axel and take his hand. "Axe, I love my brother." I look at father and frown. "I don't know where he put him."

Cloud grins at me and shakes his head. "He's not here, can I go? I would like to get back to my lover. He's been waiting years for me to dump you pathetic-" Axel punches him in the face, hard. So hard Cloud had to take a step back and hold his jaw. Cloud just glared at Axel and chuckles darkly. This can’t be good. He’s scaring me. I tug on Axel's sleeve, warning him to stop. "You will regret that. I'm leaving." He stands up straight and smirks. "Roxas is gone, you will never find him, and you’ve got no proof that I’ve done anything."

I watched him walk to the garage, stunned and livid, where his van is. I can hear cloud open his van, shuffle around, close the van, start the engine, and leave. Of course he’s just going to leave. Leave us behind. Leaving Roxas wherever he was lost. Where could he have put him? We checked everywhere in the house, and I don’t know of any weird conversion places around here. How could Cloud have taken him out of town and get back home so fast? We checked everywhere in the house, right? The attic, the basement, the upstairs rooms, mm got the downstairs and kitchen. We checked every-. 

"We never checked the garage!" My blood pulses angrily icy through my veins. I run to the garage as quickly as I can. Shit. How did we forget the garage? Axel came clamoring behind me loudly. I stop short in the garage, staring at the wall across from the door. There’s a weird little piece of the wall open, and I walk over to it and blink. There’s scratch marks on the door, little drops of blood on the concrete. I’m going to be sick. He was… Roxas… I failed him again. 

"A-Axe…He had him in here…in the fucking…We didn't look here! We let him take Roxas again!" I start to panic and hyperventilate, feeling my body vibrating, but my head frozen. Where was Cloud going? How do we get Roxas back? Why didn’t we check the damn garage? What do I do? We need to get Roxas away from that mad man. Why would Cloud lie? What is he going to do to Roxas? If Roxas was here, why couldn’t we hear him? What if Cloud killed him? What if Roxas is dead and Cloud is going to get away with it? I can’t stop the tears; I barely register them. I can’t stop the shaking, I don’t even know what up and down is. MY brother is probably dead. My brother who I’ve failed time and time again. Axel pulled me into a tight hug, jarring me back to earth. 

"It's going to be okay Sora….We still have Reno. I'll have him help us. It's okay. Let me call Riku so he can help calm you so you can think, okay?" Axel texted Riku quickly, still hugging me. I can see his phone. I hope Riku gets here quick. I can’t stand by myself. I’m lucky Axel is holding me up. I don't see how Reno or Riku will really help. My brother is with my psychotic father, who more than likely has already killed him. If there is a god, or good in the world, let Roxas be alive. I don’t know what I would do without him. I don’t know what to do anymore, other than to let Axel take care of this for the moment, I’ll just lean into his chest and cry. It’s all I can do, and I’m sorry Roxas.


End file.
